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yep. i am a dork.

why

why is it that critics seem to love the most mind-numbing movies the best? we rented the constant gardener. i never wanted to see it in the theater because i thought it sounded boring even though all the critics were praising it. then, when it won a golden globe i thought maybe i should check it out. the critics can rave all they want about the performances. the movie literally put me to sleep. it was difficult for me to pay attention to or care about, honestly. i started to understand what was going on and there were a few good scenes; but mostly i didn't really care. it's not that i would never care about the topic or issue it addresses, it's just that the movie bored me. it was confusing and diffuse. this was a technique that maybe was supposed to get the viewer to feel like it was a mystery, i guess. it is like a movie that some teacher would have you watch in a college course about politics. it's just not what i look for in entertainment. too educational or something. maybe i'm just not very intellectual.

thanatopsis

i think the poem thanatopsis is beautiful. in high school i tried to memorize it. i memorized a lot of it.... but, it is just wonderful to me.

too bad

too bad these are $150.

lucky day

today was a lucky day. watching two for the money. it's very macho. so far i'm just getting the feeling that i would not want to mess with al pacino. he's scary, but awesome. i very briefly stopped into the thrift store and got some embroidery thread and needles. the thrift store is like michael's but way cheaper. yes, i'm supposed to be taking it easy... but there has been some debate over strict bedrest and i am inclined to believe that i can sense my limits. but we rented six movies and it's been raining all day so we're just gonna veg out on the couch for the rest of the day. also, i got some chocolate haagen-dazs cuz i've been craving chocolate ice cream for days.

they are bumbling idiots

i just think bumbling idiots is fun to say and conjures up an amusing image. pervy is a new cool word, too. everyone is pervy. one of my graduation gifts was a subscription to the New Yorker magazine. coolio.

roller coaster ride

hi. how are you? i am fine. i don't like it when the cat licks himself. it is so noisy. i have already mentioned this. so today when he came and sat on the bed to lick himself i shooed him away. he came back about five minutes later wanting to do it some more. he doesn't take a hint very well, apparently. i shooed him away again. he still doesn't get the message. he just sees me as a minor annoyance and then goes on about his business clueless as to what my problem is. finally, he ended up going underneath the bed. poor dumb kitty.

that's lovely

this morning i asked scott, "how do you feel?" and he said, "i felt fine until i saw you" isn't that nice?

it's really funny

if aliens landed on earth right in the middle of a football playoff and that was their first glimpse of human behavior i wonder what they would think. when i do watch football at all, i am totally detached from it and i just think it is hilarious the way they get all intense over whether or not someone flinched and the ref said there was no contact and the coaches are flipping out and everyone has these intense looks on their faces.

prototype

this is a monster/dinosaur that i made by pretty much guessing at the proportions for the pattern, so it is a prototype. i plan to make another one with different dimensions. he's still cute, tho. i ran out of red thread and so some of his stitching is white. last night, part of my dream involved some alien from a ufo (but it looked nothing like the stereotypical alien) came down from its spaceship and gave me a message to call it/him. i ran to find a pen but could not remember the whole phone number. it seemed like part of the phone number was the letters of my dad's first name. whatever. i am fascinated by dreams.

fishy wish

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. - Cyril Connolly

i absolutely despise the sound of cats licking themselves. it drives me inSANE! and it's like ALL they ever DO! plus they beg for food all the time because they are SPOILED rotten. next time i want a basset hound.

feeling blue

here is the octopus. it has buttons for suction cups. scott thinks it needs hair cuz it looks bald. i say, it is finished. i've been bummed out today. slept til about two in the afternoon. bedrest is depressing. it just is.

if it's not one thing....

this is my first blogpost done from my new laptop cuz i just got the wireless connection set up. my laptop is currently using internet explorer so now i see how screwed up my page looks on IE. stupid IE. i don't know why, but it shows my sidebar at the bottom of the page once again. i thought i already fixed that. i'll have to look into it again, i guess. also, for some reason my buzznet pics don't show up in IE, either... so i'll have to change that, too. i know that some people probably look at my blog using IE instead of firefox. i plan to switch to firefox on my laptop, too, cuz IE is lame.

starry starfish

(new version with happier smile)

x-ray of a starfish

sometimes i get all mad and angrily adamant about whatever it is i think i'm mad about and all i really want is for someone to convince me that i'm wrong. i'll say i don't like something and then if someone agrees with me i'll get even more upset and start arguing against myself. cuckoo

splotchy lighting

okay, so here is a normal, non-internet disease-style picture of scott and me. this was before i became knocked up. heheh. anyway.... it lookes like i have to hold onto his shirt or i'll fall over. bloopy bloopy bloo.

meow

i've spent about 15 hours, it seems, staring at this cat... so it's not even real to me anymore! i can't see it.

motivation

having a digital camera on hand all the time is a good way to motivate myself to do something about my appearance. if i'm just sitting around being a bum and decide to randomly snap a picture of myself, i realize how horrific i look and it only takes a few minutes to remedy that. sometimes i guess i just get lazy.

blueberry boils

last night my dreams had many different disturbing images. i had these boils or zits or something and i hadn't realized they'd been there but when i got home and looked in the mirror they were all over my shoulders and hands and forehead and they were actually some kind of blueberries growing on my skin. i could pick some of them out but some of them were embedded in my skin. the ones on my hands were smaller and when i scraped them off there was dirt underneath. it was like they were growing in my skin. freaky!!

that rhino!

this was originally going to be a dog, but looked more like a rhinoceros, so that's what it is.

do not annoy me

"Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."

"But why should merely annoying someone be illegal?"

my first felt creation is a seahorse

this is your brain

these guys are adorable. i didn't make them. this person did. i love her stuff. this morning as i was waking i said, "what does it say in frosty the snowman? 'that old ______ hat they found'?" for some reason i was having a brain glitch. i couldn't think of the word, though i've known that lyric forever without a problem. i tried "grey" "blue" "black" "felt"-- scott suggested "top" "stove pipe" .... but nothing was right! it was driving me insane so i had to get up and look it up on the internet. it was SILK! i KNEW that! this is like early stages of alzheimer's, i know. in addition to that insanity, i am stuck on this one level in hot-line tetris and no matter how hard i try or how many freaking HOURS i spend, i am not passing that level! if someone is around to listen you should hear how possessed i sound when i lose. if no one is around to listen, i don't really get that mad. what's the point? i need an audience to annoy with my rantings.

goofy rabbit

here is another attempt at a rabbit. his arms and legs are exceedingly long. this guy makes me laugh when i look at his funny face.

voila

t'was supposed to be a bunny rabbit but it looks more like a puppy dog. oh well, it's cute anyway.

inspiration

a blog that i find most artistically inspiring for my life is raymitheminx.blogspot.com. her blog is my muse. anyway, since i am on bedrest (rackemfrackemgrumblegrumble) i am bored to tears and tired of playing tetris and watching t.v. raymi has inspired me most recently by making some absolutely adorable little felt creatures and i am thinking now is a good time to make something like that myself. i will make some sock monkeys, and maybe a sock rabbit, sure. so i went to the fabric store (very briefly and i was lying down the entire time, i swear) to get some thread. in the fabric remnants basket i found two bits of felt. i think that i will start collecting felt remnants. felt is such a cool material, now that i think about it. i looked around on the internet a bit for a few different ideas of things to make and there's a plethora of really creative stuff out there! now i feel a little bit rejuvenated and excited! yay!

"a blog is for complaining"

i'm too lazy to take a less blurry photo. i drew this at our birthing from within class that we went to tonight. scott didn't like that we had to draw stuff or that we had to talk about ourselves or that we had to do this exercise where you hold ice in your hand for one minute. too much artsy fartsy stuff for him. also he doesn't like the word "doula" and wonders why we can't just call them "birthing assistants". these are all things about scott that i find endearing. but, mostly i found myself wondering what more they could possibly teach us in what is to be a six-week class! i think we learned enough in the two hours we were already there.

what's the point of my blog?

again i have cause to consider what the purpose of my blog might be. it is certainly not to inform, although on occasion it may provide that service. perhaps on occasion i wish to inspire. generally it is a form of human creativity and a shout in the dark. hello? is there anybody out there? i try to make my blog do what i find interesting in other blogs. mainly, i do not read blogs to be informed or instructed. You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you've got something to say. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald I like to write when I feel spiteful; it's like having a good sneeze. ~ D. H. Lawrence Looking back, I imagine I was always writing. Twaddle it was too. But better far write twaddle or anything, anything, than nothing at all. ~Katherine Mansfield It's better to write about things you feel than about things you know about. ~L. P. Hartley it's just a journal for me.

twelfth night

Now Christmas is past, Twelfth Day is the last, To the Old Year adieu, Great joy to the New. --Welsh Twelfth Day Carol

scary

sometimes i am very very sensitive to noises. i especially hate 'mouth noises'-- any kind of chewing, swallowing, whatever. if someone is eating peanut m&m's or cereal in a quiet room and i am there it makes me go insane. it's weird how sometimes the fan on the computer noise is so loud to me that i can't concentrate on anything else. or sometimes a clock ticking is so loud that i can't get it out of my head. all of those things are annoying. yesterday we watched the exorcism of emily rose. i liked it. it was mostly about the court case. but now i'm afraid of the clock saying 3AM. but there was a scene in the movie where emily rose was in a restaurant and the sounds of everyone clinking their forks was so loud to her that it gave her a headache; and, i thought to myself-- maybe i'm possessed!

hidey ho neighbor

my boyfriend's mom thought i was in some kind of cult cuz i was reading a kabbalah book. :-)

don't turn around

i went to the doctor and he did a bunch of poking and prodding. i'm 50% effaced and could have the baby in as little as three weeks. have to really take it easy because i don't want to have a preemie who has to go to SF hospital. today we got a noah's ark bassinet and an infant car seat for free at this church charity place. so then we splurged on kfc. tsk tsk. so i'll lie around and watch movies and do my latch-hook and rot my brain on t.v. and tetris. gotta make sure the cats don't think the bassinet is their new bed.

brief language

we rented dark water and to me it was just like the ring and the cell. all these psychological thrillers about kids who didn't get love from their parents and it's all dark and there is water. they are all the same these movies. movies are stupid. well, i guess it makes sense since it was directed by Hideo Nakata, the director of the ring. tim roth was the best part.

like to watch

i like to watch shows about plastic surgery and surgery in general. discovery health rocks! maybe i should become a doctor. nah. i don't think so.

this is just delightful

raymi had it on her buzznet and didn't even know it was wil wheaton! :-) anyway, my new year's eve consisted of the following: drinking water and grape juice. watching the history channel. going to bed at nine o'clock. being awoken at midnight by the sound of hoots/hollers, fireworks and guns. ignoring it and going back to sleep. then we went to hometown buffet for breakfast in the morning.