don't say it

preserves are better than jelly

i'm a clutter magnet, i think.
before i moved in with scott, his place was what i would call barren, though he found it to be comfortable. i moved in and so did my clutter. it's horrible. i would much rather be a person who is able to move with ease.
philosophically, anyway.
that's another thing.
i am known to give advice nonchalantly about how to do the right thing in a situation, when i am also known to do the exact opposite in actuality. it's sort of ironic.

who even knows

earlier, i stepped on scott's foot. he was like, "could you take off your shoes?" and i was like, "YES! gosh" i was wearing my saltwaters and they are probably more comfy than bare feet

yeah baby

i really like humboldt county.
there are some interesting graduate programs at HSU
if i could get funding, i'd do it.
i would like to get a job working for the national parks system and then buy a vw/winnebago camper van and travel around. or maybe an rv. or both.

remember now

discomfort is never permanently eradicated.
i don't 'burp inside myself', i belch loudly as often as possible. of course, i won't make a scene in public, but i think belching is much more satisfying the louder it is.
also, i think drinks taste best if you can smack and say "ahhhh"
i have found etiquette amusing and entertaining to consider; but, you know--
moderation in all things
that is the answer.

not interesting

who's the judge?
whose opinion matters?
yours?
mine?
both?
neither?
do you care?
my life is mostly boring to most people, probably.
whatever
so?
i have nothing to blog about.
there are so many memories in my head. they pop up at the strangest times. and memories aren't real, are they?
but what is?

i am a beaming ray of light

right now i am dead tired but i haven't had any time to myself in a really long time. i need to go to sleep but i feel like i have to blog first. i have to get that out of my system. that sounds like some sort of purging thing. maybe that is what it is. i really do need rest. last night, my dreams were wild. one of the things that i dreamed seemed to be telling me that i should just accept that i am a nerd/dork/geek and get over trying to be cool. it makes me even more dorky that i ever try to be cool at all.

you don't even know

blogging is my "me" time.
it's a way for me to unwind
a way to get settled
reflect
express myself
create a representation of my life
get in touch with people.

can anybody find me?

tomorrow we are going on another trip.
this time it will be less driving.
but we're going up to scott's parents' place which is cool cuz it's up in the mountains and there are horses and other animals.
i watched oprah today.
it was about women who have 'let themselves go'
and how you are supposed to stage your own comeback.

sprung

it's a very springy day.
people are out mowing their lawns with weed whackers.
i took sophie for a short walk in the baby bjorn and she really liked that-- the way i could tell was that she was conked out completely the whole time she was in the carrier.
i've been eating some salt & vinegar chips.
i never tire of taking pictures of myself and the whole process that entails. deleting the horrible ones after i stare in fascination at them. editing the halfway okay ones. doing a blogpost with the ones i like best.
i have pictures of sophie but i am stingy with them.

it is time

yesterday, scott got me a bowl of vanilla ice cream and i wanted chocolate syrup on it and he put a TON of chocolate syrup. it was too much... but i ate what i could. he thought i liked that much because whenever he would see me getting myself ice cream, he thought it looked like i had a lot. well, it wasn't THAT much! but, i was still thankful that he got me a bowl of ice cream because that was nice of him.

technical difficulties

it is morning and things are how i like them.
i like to have time to myself in the morning.
no talking, just thinking.
maybe drinking coffee and writing.
what will i write about?
how about: for some reason, blogger on my laptop makes me code in the line breaks manually. i have to actually write it out.... otherwise, all of my words are just one big block of text.
and if i look at it in compose and then go back to edit html all of my linebreaks will be erased.

jubjub

my mom is a good mimic.
she can really imitate people well.
it's entertaining.
i hate those stupid slim fast commercials where the women do some stupid little dance
bleh
what i was saying about the fig tree was that if you really think about it-- the fig tree is like the tree of life.

various and sundry

we are sitting in a darkened house watching king kong on dvd. it's a gray day.
a lazy day.
i'm so lazy... or just busy and tired... but, i'm also lazy.
they say not to worry about keeping up the housework but just to focus on taking care of the baby. she's 26 days old, now. i've been reading a lot of stuff about taking care of babies. with all of the reading i do i end up having a lot of conflicting information due to varying schools of thought on mosts subjects. scott gets tired of hearing me say all the different things i have read about stuff.

my dreams have been interesting lately.
i don't remember them, but i have a feeling that they have been interesting.
i like to sleep.

everybody ought to know

there was this really cool awesome show on pbs about the fig tree in africa and this whole huge ecosystem of which it seems to be the hub. really fascinating trippy stuff!

i've been listening a lot to my nickel creek cd. the songs really get stuck in my head. 'hillbilly music' my son calls it.

doy

there was this thing on msn or whatever that said that there's new evidence that judas was not actually condemned for betraying Christ, but that he was chosen to do it and it was necessary for him to do it.

i could have told you that. i love Jesus Christ Superstar. when i was a kid i was afraid of it. i think i have alreaddy blogged that. i' m beginning to repeat my blog. oh well.

are soccer moms hot?

last night sophie cried hysterically for a long long time! she's never done that before. it was horrible. we ended up taking her for a drive, which sort of worked. but anyway.

my mom was trying to find some of her clothes that might fit me and i tried on some "mommy jeans" and i cannot wear that stuff. it just doesn't feel right. she says i am a mommy so i should be okay with wearing such matronly attire. but i am not. it offends my fashion sense. i cannot just completely give up on trying to look cool. can i? ack. aging is weird. i feel like i'm so old, now.

i am completely insane!

this world is full of suffering. you don't even know the half of it. neither do i. that's the kind of thing that i think about at night. i sit there and think morbid thoughts. i'm the epitome of debbie downer! fer reels. i took some pictures of myself in a beautiful setting and the background is lovely... but, the subject is not! i am very hard on myself. there are eight hundred million things that i hate about my appearance and i can't understand why everyone doesn't run screaming in the opposite direction at the very sight of me. but hey. maybe they don't notice all the stuff i notice. i hope to heck not!

anyway, yeah....

scott hands me the last giant reese's cup. i ask him, "why?" he says, "you're so paranoid! cuz i poisoned it!"
well, i wasn't imagining it to be poisoned.
my various thoughts on the matter were things such as....
he's offering it to me because i ate so many of them and he feels sorry for me that i am so lacking in manners and etiquitte, and he thinks that i am fat and he wants me to be even more fat and that is why he is offering that to me. and i am supposed to say, "no, thanks. you have it" but i did not and now i want to eat it because it sits on the table tempting me with its momentary passing pleasure and would i rather be skinny later or happy now?
i've been sleeping a LOT!

memoirs of a gay ....shyeah.

this weekend we are going on a roadtrip.
going to make the rounds to visit family.
right now, i am taking a break. a blog break. it is not a break from blogging, it is a break to blog. we rented some movies. i watched memoirs of a geisha. scott didn't watch it. it was okay. i'm glad i saw it, i guess... because i like to know what movies are like. it was kind of pretentious or something... i mean, none of the actors were japanese and they all spoke english. that's just lame, right there.

porcupine spirit

I took the "The Animal Spirit" quiz on gURL.com
		My animal spirit is... The Porcupine Porcupines have developed a unique way of defending themselves. Their weapons are out for the world to see and they are not shy about using them. Read more... What is your animal spirit?

Hi, I saw your post on blogger.com about the baby hedgehog pic...from a google search i did for "porcupine spirit animal". I was just wondering how you found out that porcupine is your spirit animal? I have always felt that the porcupine was my spirit animal since I encountered one in the wild when i was 13 (17 years ago). I saw your post about being a "Spirit Porcupine" after i posted a comment of my own (had to join blogger to post it), and was like "Deja Vu!", and you look like my favorite character from the show, Asuka Langley Soryu. The episode I was posting about was called "Hedgehog's Dilema"...allthough the character i'm thinking of didn't appear until ep.7 of the show, lol. Anyway, I just thought it was neat how all that synergy came together in my browser and thought I'd share it with you. TTFN RoBB