"Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore. The Shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life. We meet our dark side, accept it for what it is, and we learn to use its powerful energies in productive ways. The Shadow knows why good people sometimes do "bad" things. Romancing the Shadow and learning to read the messages it encodes in daily life can deepen your consciousness, imagination, and soul."--c.g. jung

shadow work

Sleepy Sleepy Sleepy. I just keep feeling sleepy and my back also hurts because I don’t take care of myself as well as I should with scoliosis. I planted some spring flowers . My eyes burn. Need to do the dishes. It’s my turn. Need to study. I’ve been wanting to pick some lilacs from up the street. They’re dark purple. There are so many of them growing on that lilac tree. Today, I went out in public dressed like someone who does not want to look sexy. I just didn’t care at all. Went to the dollar store. I got over 1000 stickers and some nail polish

my pig

ambivalent zen

Friday, we finally went to see Sin City. I admire the movie. I really enjoy Brittany Murphy's face. I didn't understand some of the movie. It was very violent, but reminded me of Kill Bill. I could see the 'graphic-novel'-esque elements. Unrealistic, crazily sexual Amazons scanitly clad and heavily armed. all in all, it's a worthy film. complex. all morning, I've been trying to download the song You Must Love Me. It's been a pain in the bum. It looks like I'm going to get it, here, though and then my efforts will be rewarded and I will be momentarily satiated. It seems sometimes like I'll do anything to avoid studying for midterms. The more I need to study the more I avoid it like the plague. Tomorrow is my Middle Eastern cultures midterm. I think I have about a "C" in that class. "C"'s are bad. I need to be studying. I have like a phobia or something. makes life difficult. 'specially when I need to graduate this year!!!!!!!

an interview with Christopher Guest. I didn't know who he was.

living in the shadow

a familiar scene death and destruction are natural, essential and life fostering aspects of nature

so norcal

My hat is from Tibet. Made in Nepal.

Friday Night Lights

Watched Friday Night Lights last night. It's hard for me to completely focus all my attention on football, but the movie was well-done and I liked it. I liked it. It is very real. I like Billy Bob Thornton as an actor. I will be graduating in December. My career as an undergraduate will come to a close. I am going to be taking lots of cool classes this summer and in the Fall. This summer: Anthropology of Religion Theoretical perpective and modes of analysis of religious belief systems and practices. Focus: preliterate and peasant religions, including ritual, magic, and symbol systems. Race, Racism & Philosophy A philosophical study of the conceptual, metaphysical, moral, and social political issues surrounding race and racism. Fall: Anthropological Theory Seminar on development of anthropological theory. Philosophical/scientific foundations of anthropological perspectives: from Plato, Radcliffe- Brown, Levi-Strauss, Sartre, Kuhn, and Searle to postmodernism/cultural critique. Geography of the Mediterranean Its role in history and contemporary issues. Emphasis on underlying cultural and ecological unity despite differences of politics, economics, and religion. Language and Culture Scope and variety of linguistic research. Emphasis on crosscultural comparison and relation of languages Living Myths Examines how a culture’s “sacred stories” express worldview, guide behavior, and empower personal quests for meaning. Sections offered under the following themes: War and Peace, Quest for Self, Beyond the Hero.

on censorship

I wrote this on a discussion board for one of my classes in response to a post from another student defending Free Speech and denouncing all forms of censorship. This is a subject which inflames my passions and brings out the Devil's Advocate in me. Here is what I posted:

If the Lumberjack is a newspaper, that does not exclude it from its dual role as a public relations tool. You may feel that it is not meant to serve such a role, but in reality, that is one purpose it does serve. I do agree that an open public forum is healthy for individuals and the Lumberjack should be open to all points of view which are reflected back to it—including the points of view of parents, administrators, and students of all types (not just the 20 yr old ones). Some form of censorship is an inescapable part of life. If students want to publish sex manuals, they can start an underground publication for that, but it should not represent HSU as the State Institution that it is. I am not advocating total censorship. I just think it is overly idealistic to think that the Lumberjack should be some sort of free-for-all. Checks and Balances should go both ways. I greatly enjoy this topic and appreciate all opinions surrounding it.

Post response

Cookie Fleck

God Loves A Terrier I really like this movie. It is so funny and weird. :-) Last night, we watched Spanglish. We really didn't like it very much. It had attractive actors, but the story was weak to me.

triskedecaphobia anyone?

You Are 13 Years Old

13 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

What Age Do You Act? yep. 13 going on 30!!! That's me! I don't care if it's uncool to post quiz results. It's fun to take the quizzes. I enjoy answering the questions. I like it because, I usually do have one answer that I would pick over the others. It's fun to re-affirm to myself who I already know myself to be. Maybe that's because I have an identity crisis?

mural in SF it says: To all indigenous people made prisoners in their own land. and also there is what looks a lot like a sock monkey at the top of the mural. now i will eat ooey gooey hot cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven

I am stubborn

ocean beach These celebrities share my birthday. Anna Kournikova June 07 Liam Neeson June 07 Nikki Giovanni June 07 Prince June 07 Tom Jones June 07

it doesn't matter

You Are Best Described By...

Girl With Hair Ribbon by Roy Lichtenstein

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

"Assemble the cleaner before using"

Oh Em Gee! This day has been crazy! I feel like it was taken completely out of my hands-- like a big giant kid was playing with his toys and I am one of them. It's not UP to me! So, I may as well "Let Go" "I got awoman/ way over town/ good to me/ oh yeah"

update: it was not the Plaza Hotel, but the Palace Hotel and it was fun and I'll put up pictures tomorrow. tomorrow, for my son's birthday, we are going to the Metreon and we are going to stay at the Palace Hotel. Flippin' Sweet!

zombied out. i have to pack. spending the day on amtrak tomorrow. i think i'll take along a book I'm going to read for my middle eastern cultures class.... it's called "Wild Thorns" and I'll bring the stuff to make a sock monkey, too. likely i will mostly sleep because i am exhausted hangin with miss monroe

monkey business

I got this shirt from my cafepress store. neato torpedo!

i think i must have ADD

study time

Here is how I've spent the past 45 minutes.

important

this blogpost is about an important subject. it is the first time i have done a 'trackback ping'

sweet

now i don't have to study

chinese buffets are awesome you can pick
a little bit of everything
that looks goodand take it home and then
have leftovers. it's exciting.

sweating the small stuff

Yes, that's a cheesy title. The main thing is this: I am a very impatient person with next to no tolerance for anything that minorly annoys or inconveniences me in any way. Some people have said that I seem so calm... well, that is just a facade if I ever do manage to give off an impression of equanimity. if i really were a south park character i would be that crazy bus driver lady, Mrs. Crabtree.

primatology

i wish i had a photographic memory because i have to know all this stuff by tomorrow: There are 5 loris species and 8 galagos species, 4 genera of each. They are from the families (1) Galagonidae and (2) Lorisidae; Superfamily: Lorisoidea; Infraorder: Lorisiformes; Suborder: Prosimii (Strepsirhini). Come on! And I have to know a lot more than just the Lorises and Galagos! I have to know the taxonomy of Marmosets, Tarsiers, Lemurs, Tamarins. And not only that, but I have to know their freaking dentition patterns and all sorts of other crap! Aaaaack!

nap time

when i take a nap, i get more grouchy! not less!!!!!

if i were a south park character

create your own south park character. my boyfriend and i got walkie talkies cuz he is always down in the garage and i am not usually.

but this way it is more fun.

breaker breaker Do you ever feel divided? Conflicted? Plagued by an infinite inner torment that only comes up for air on occasion. So you can breathe. Your gills are dry. A lot of the things I do seem not very well thought out. It’s like we’re all constantly trying to figure out who we are and What we’re doing here and we all reflect back one another’s fears or hopes or wishes or fantasies. Exploring… grabbing. Grasping. Everything counts in large amounts It’s a competitive world.

archipelago

This article is soothing to me. cuz otherwise. life is hard. in general without that perspective that i need the outer space perspective. here are a couple of astronauts. what do you think? are they out there?

To blog or not to blog

That is the question.

Whether to suffer
the slings
and arrows
of
outrageous
blogging.

Or

I

Cheated on my no-blogging weekend.

I didn’t officially post,

 but I thought about blogging
non-stop and obsessed over it 

nonetheless.



I strategized and finagled in my head.
I did not study much. And I got away with it.
But, was I better off swearing off?

No.

I was not better off. It did not help me 

to study more at
all!

It really didn’t.

My pining away actually deterred me
and hampered my studying
abilities.

I could not use my skills

 because they were depressed.

Deflated.



My blog is my best friend.

It is my mirror.

A place to explore myself.

Navel-gazing at its finest.

happy birthday

Atticus was born eleven years ago, today.

ew ?

most of the time life makes me want to vomit. it's all too much to handle for me and... i have two midterms today (1 1/2) for which i very minimally studied and almost don't even care if i do well. i'm sick of school, now. i'm sick of learning about anything at all right now. i'm too busy hating myself and life and so what's the point of learning about correlation coefficients and intifada? intifada this! such a sad girl

pocket lady

  my boyfriend stuffed a bunch of candy bars into the pockets of my sweater and i had a flashback to when i was in like first grade we used to have something called pocketlady, where ms sharon would dress up in one of these aprons and kids could go up and pick little consolation prizes out of her pockets.  you know little guys with parachutes and click-clack noisemakers.  

two-day blogging hiatus

I am not going to blog anything at all this weekend because I have to study and blogging sucks up my time like nobody's business! So I promise not to blog this weekend!

so cute

this monkey

Statistically Improbable Phrases

Amazon has this interesting feature. In the book Behind The Attic Wall the SIP is "neither doll." Interesting tidbit.

rabble-rouser

Thank you, Cesar Chavez, for giving me this day off from school.

It is fun to wear headbands. Very Alice in WOnderlandish.

I ran across a book report I did in junior high for a book called Behind the Attic Wall and I am amazed. I didn’t remember the book at first, but I vaguely do, now—and I’m DYING to read it again!!!! It looks entrancing. I’m sure it will be good and I must get it

my boyfriend now lives in the garage

I am an 80's kid

Found this on another blog! You’re an 80’s kid if: 1. You ever ended a sentence w/ the word “SIKE” 2. You watched Pound Puppies 3. You can sing the rap to “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” 4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish. 5. You yearned to be a member of the babysitters club and tried to start one of your own. 6. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls. 7. You know that “WOAH” comes from Joey on “Blossom” 8. Two words: M.C. Hammer 9. If you ever watched Fraggle Rock 10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars. (HELL YEAH!!!) 11. You can sing the entire theme song to “Duck Tales” 12. It was actually worth getting up on Sat morning to watch cartoons 13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head 14. You saw “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” on the big screen 15. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class. 16. You had a clip that held your shirt in a knot at the side 17. You played the game MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House) 18. You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it 19. L.A. Gear… need I say more 20. You wanted to change your name to “JEM” in kindergarten 21. You remember all of the Ramona books 22. You know the profound meaning of “WAX ON, WAX OFF” 23. You wanted to be a Goonie 24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing (some head to toe) 25. You can remember what Michael Jackson REALLY looked like 26. You ever wondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf 27. You took lunch pals to school 28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets 29. You still get the urge to say “NOT” after every sentence 30. Barbie and the Rockers were your fav band 31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up 32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave you b/c you exchanged friendship bracelets 33. You ever owned a pair of jelly shoes (and probably in neon colors) 34. After Pee-Wee’s Big Adventures you kept saying “I know you are but what am I” 35. You remember “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” 36. You remember skating before inline skates 37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip-n-slide 38. You had a Skip-it 39. You had or attended a b-day party at Mc Donald’s 40. You’ve gone thru this nodding your head in agreement 41. “Don’t worry, Be happy!!” 42. You wore like 8 pair of socks over tights w/ high top Reeboks 43. You wore socks scrunched down 44. “Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK” 45. Boom boxes vs. cd players 46. Both Gremlin movies 47. “CARE BEAR STARE!!!” 48. You remember Rainbow Bright and My Lil Pony Tales 49. You thought Doogie Howser was hot! 50. Alf, the furry brown alien from Melmac 51. New Kids On the Block when they were cool 52. Knew all the characters and their life stories on the ORIGINAL Saved by the Bell 53. Know all the words to Bon Jovi- SHOT THRU THE HEART 54. You just sang it to yourself 55. You remember when Mullets were cool 56. You tight rolled your pants 57. You owned a banana clip!

i copied you Kathryn! weehee! 

migraine?

what i would like to know is this..... why is it that i will get a pounding headache in which the pain is utterly intolerable and then i will throw up and the headache is gone. ????? How does that work?

to sleep perchance to dream

today at school it seemed like all of a sudden I have three mid-terms next week and how did this happen? there is no time to study. am i supposed to just forget about every other aspect of my existence except for school from now until the midterms? I must. It is required. I have to do as well as I possibly can so that I don't fail all my classes and die. but, i want to stare vapidly into the entrancing blue flickering screen and feel the clicking of the keyboard keys under my finger tips and hear the whirling hum of the computer fans twirping and chirping away.... or i can look at the hermit crabs, or i can vacuum or do the dishes or do laundry or go talk to scott or anything but frickin focus on my studies! i think i'm starting to get burnt out on school. i'm hitting a slump.

There once was a man who said, "Though, I know that I know what I know. What I'd like to see is the "I" that sees Me when I know that I know what I know --alan watts

Hermit Crabs

Hermit crabs are not cheap. The cheapest beginner setup is going to cost you a minimum of $100. true dat. yeah, so meet Homer and Marge.

blogger sucks

cabbages and kings

Today, I (and by "I"-- I mean: Scott) purchased a hermit crab for Atticus' birthday/Easter gift. \m/

The sun was shining on the sea, Shining with all his might: He did his very best to make The billows smooth and bright-- And this was odd, because it was The middle of the night.

best book ever

more on death (the mother of all posts)

the ascencion. it is easter. okay, when christ went "up up up" after he had been resurrected.... he said "In my Father's house there are many mansions. In my Father's house are many homes. If it weren't so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. WEB

In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. ASV In my Father's house are rooms enough; if it was not so, would I have said that I am going to make ready a place for you? BBE In my Father's house there are many abodes; were it not so, I had told you: for I go to prepare you a place; DBY In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. KJV In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. WBS In my Father's house there are many resting-places. Were it otherwise, I would have told you; for I am going to make ready a place for you. WEY in the house of my Father are many mansions; and if not, I would have told you; I go on to prepare a place for you; And Einstein said

But whoever has undergone the intense experience of successful advances made in this domain, is moved by the profound reverence for the rationality made manifest in existence. By way of the understanding he achieves a far reaching emancipation from the shackles of personal hopes and desires, and thereby attains that humble attitude of mind toward the grandeur of reason, incarnate in existence, and which, in its profoundest depths, is inaccessible to man. This attitude, however, appears to me to be religious in the highest sense of the word. And so it seems to me that science not only purifies the religious impulse of the dross of its anthropomorphism but also contributes to a religious spiritualisation of our understanding of life". You're possibly already picking up on what I'm driving at here.... but, I've recently heard that I ought not to assume that quotations can stand alone. I must discuss their contextual aspects. That said, I will sum it up by saying: (boy, I'm being long-winded) When a person dies, his individual consciousness is not completely obliterated. It moves from this heavy plane to a 'higher vibratory level' or dimension of existence. We, too, can interact with this vibratory level at certain times... which is where religion fits into the picture. Ritual and Trance-like states induce a 'higher' awareness that allows reception of realities that we usually ignore just so we can focus on the everyday world of maya. sansara, illusion. Okay, church is over. Happy Sunday. now, shoo.

this is totally 'girly' stuff

I'm going to try this alternative to tampons. Also, I would not mind trying these. I got some liquid eyeliner today. I have never been very good at applying eyeliner. I'm gonna give it another whirl, though.

sanskrit is love

So -- My monkeys were totally taking over my blog and I had to make them a blog of their own. t'was a pain in the derrier, but now, it is done.

sanskrit is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Why Napoleon Dynamite Rules like Ferris Bueller

For me, Napoleon Dynamite is a movie that makes life a joy to behold! I am so happy that the movie exists in my world. I might even buy a copy today. Listen, I love that movie. I think we have all discovered by now that people either ravenously love or vehemently hate Napoleon Dynamite. I think that in order to understand the love for the movie you have to really feel inside that it depicts a certain kind of true reality. You have to understand that every single millisecond of every aspect of that movie is pure genius. Like Ferris Bueller's Day Off. It's one of those movies that you can watch eight hundred bazillion times and still love. Anyway, that's what I think. The first time I saw Napoleon Dynamite was in the theater with my sister. When it was over, I shed a tear of sweet sorrow at the parting of myself from Napoleon's world. I wanted to stay in that movie forever. Serious. also, i don't have a television anymore-- so no more American Idol for me! I heard Makaylah got voted off. Wish I coulda seen it.

avast ye mateys

It's Friday and I'm tired. I think I'm coming down with a cold. At the fabric store I got some stuffing and buttons so that I can continue on my mission to populate the planet with sock monkeys. Somebody's gotta do it. Might as well be me. I am trying to make a store for my sock monkeys .... Anyway, I'm tired and achy and grouchy and I just want to nestle in and make a nice fuschia sock monkey with sporty striped extremeties. I am comforted by making them. It is repetetive and simple and predictable and safe and comforting.

Okay, so... you wanna know what I think happens after we die? I tend to go along with the buddhist idea of the bardo. when it comes down to it, I think that we could be dead already and not know it. what happens after you die?

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.--Stephen Hawking (1942 - ), Der Spiegel, 1989

Want a sock monkey?

my hair

i have red hair. it is thick and coarse and angry-- with a mind of its own that's as stubborn as I am. it was in grade school... maybe fifth grade? that i was trying to come to terms with the realization (and acceptance of same) that my hair was red. squinting at myself in the mirror, I tried to understand how my hair could possibly be red? when i was a kid, my mom would see redheads and say, "Oh, look how pretty her hair is." and I would think it was grody. nobody likes redheads when you're a kid. at least, not that I remember. it was more of a stigma than anything. I didn't have freckles, though. still don't. so people sometimes have wondered if i was a 'natural.' well, now, i like the color of red hair and wish mine were more intense than it is, actually. mine was always actually more of a strawberry blonde. so, i usually add color. anyway, that's my story and i'm sticking to it. inspired by