close your eyes then

i wonder how many poor sods/saps have been looking thru hot or not and found the person of their dreams but had no way to contact them? cuz like the person didn't leave any contact info?

oh.

there are a lot of odd looking guys on hot or not.

i didn't look at the girls.

hot or not is dumb.

and stupid.

and i havn't looked at it for like 5 years. (until just now, that is)

i used to waste lots of time at work playing the hot or not game.

makes you feel so powerful.

i DECLARE YOU A hotness level of 3!

but seriously. how much can you really tell from just one picture? come on guys.

just. they could look totally diff than that ONE pic.

people are all about subtle nuances.

GREAT! now i am addicted to hot or not. it's some funny shit. when i am looking at the guys, i imagine how i would feel if they moved in next door to me. haha.

i should learn the foxtrot

i have observed in myself reapeated examples of a lack of patience. i want to be a patient person and some people have perceived me that way in the past; but, i don't think i'm very patient. so when i am cooking things i frequently undercook them because i am impatient for them to be done and then all my time and effort feels like a bit of a waste because it seems like once you undercook something, it is hard to re-cook it. that's been my experience, anyway. and maybe that is a metaphor for something.

in the ongoing saga that is my wardrobe, i've burned a few more things...

i've set aside a few things to donate. i tried on an old dress today and got compliments, so i guess i'll keep it then.

if memory serves

while out walking with sophie in the stroller the other day, we saw scott's mom at the school. she was out with her second-graders during recess and she waved us over.

we hung for a while.

one little girl who reminded me of myself was basically just glued to her teacher's side seeming to have no interest in the other kids. she seemed like a normal kid to me cuz that is kinda how i was.

but THEN this other little girl comes up and she was 'the outcast' not by choice. i compliment her french braid and her dress that looks like a jumper made by grandma. unique, cute, and like 'hot lava' to the 'cool kids', poor thing. she tells me the other kids won't let her play what they are playing. i tell her don't ask, just play. none of them asked to play so why should you? just join in and there is nothing they can do about it. she liked the idea, but wasn't ready for implementation just yet, so i distracted her with monkeybar talk.

later, i thought, i will walk over there with her, they won't be mean with someone right there watching; but, the spokesperson for the group said that they already had 'too many people' HA. i said, "oh, so you just can't take ONE more?" they weren't even playing anything anyway. they were just sitting in the shade under the slides. or whatever they were playing was so subtle as to be beyond the perception of Aah-dolts.

so then i saw that there was this giant map of the U.S. on the ground and said, let's go name all the states and there were alarmingly too many that i wasn't sure about or simply didn't know. that is despicable. i must get on that right away.

anyway, the main point of this story was to get around to this:

there was one boy there who had "i think i'm cute and i like to push the envelope" written all over him. i am pretty sure that he said to his friend about me something like "do you think she is pretty?" and the other boy said, "she is a FAT lady!" HAHAHAHA.....

it was probably Butchie's long lost illegitimate son.

then later that same boy undid and pulled down his pants in the back of the classroom when the teacher wasn't looking. he and his cronies found that to be the height of humor.

i know, i know... this is 2nd grade we are talking about.

i remember 3rd more.

in 2nd grade, we had Mrs. Erickson and we didn't want to leave her so she also taught us 3rd. isn't that awesome? she ruled the hizzouse.

i am usually at my most verbose in the morning.

just so you know.

another cool thing that happened was that scott's mom (the teacher) KEEP UP MAN

read to the class from Tom Sawyer and it was about how the kids were starting a secret club and that if anyone told about it then the group would have to KILL their family. and also they would have to do RANSOMS. psssh. i kept smirking while she was reading thinking this is great stuff to be teaching second graders. haha. she asked the class if they knew what a ransom was and nobody did until she started to describe it and then they were all OH YEAH.

it never ends

well, i got the dresses but there is justification for it sort of.

i mean not really because i acted like a child

but i rarely go anywhere on my own so it was long overdue really.

i went back and spent at least an hour in there.

it's a good store.

we got this cute little kitchen playset for sophie, too.

but NOW there is this OTHER shirt which i did not buy and i want and also there were some things there that i want to get for my mom cuz this month is full of special days for her. SIGH.

i really need to just MAKE something for her. i have a ton of materials and i just need to commit to that (among other things)

i know, it looks angry or evil or something but the eyeballs are knobs and you can change them and it also says a bunch of stuff and makes ding noises and popcorn noises and stores stuff and EVERYTHING! i love little girl toys.

i keep on demonstrating

ugh.

we went to a really good thrift store today in Chester and like....

there were two dresses there that i was about to buy they were $3 each

and then i got mad.

cuz sophie was wanting to leave and scott was wanting to leave and i was being

selfish

cuz there was stuff there that i wanted to revel in.

wah wah waaaah.

so i was like fine and went out to the car and pouted

and didn't get my dresses.

but NOW.

i still want them.

and i think they are still there

and i want to go back by myself

so i can look around

in peace

argh!

spoilt.

but not.

one of the dresses looks like a girl scout leader's dress. MUST HAVE IT NOW>

so i can play guitar in it and be a singer.

and the other one was like a sundress jumpery thing but white on top blue on bottom reminiscent of snow white or cinderella but it is just a vintage old lady dress probably.

i want to get them today.

but at the same time i want to talk myself out of it.

i already have an overflowing closet of clothes i don't like.

the town is 13 miles away.

8ISGR8

yesterday i saw the number 8 a lot.

i have been crying a lot lately cuz i am a big baby and now i have a headache from it. isn't that annoying? crying is supposed to be good for you cuz it gets rid of cortisol. i guess i need to drink more water, probably.

we seriously need to get out of the house today, man. even tho usu it just makes us glad to go back home, but still... it is necessary. it gets so stifling to just stay home all the time. i mean, i try to get out of the house as often as possible by going for walks etc. ugh.

need a dose of reality.

this morning every little thing kept going wrong. first sophie kept spilling kix all over the universe and then i end up stepping on them.

then i was trying to give the cat some wet food and he always gets his stupid head in the way and makes the food land not in his bowl.

THEN i turn around and next thing i know one cat isn't eating and it is because the other cat is SITTING ON his stupid food bowl. oy.

there's more. i must have pms or something! there must be some excuse for me.

i have donated a bunch of clothes to the thrift shop here in town and a couple of times i have seen chicks wearing the exact thing i donated and then i totally want it back and i go over to them and say um excuse me but where did you get that shirt because it is MINE. and then RIP it off of their body.

seriously, tho? i do feel a twinge of regret about giving up the item but then i think it looks good on them and i never really liked it while i had it. ha. sounds like i'm talking about a guy i broke up with and now he is dating my friend and i am so jeals!

nah. i don't think that has happened that i remember.

or else i've just repressed it.

usually i am just happy for them.

i just want everyone to be happy.

oh was tagged for a meme and posted it to my gratitude blog.

they guzzle up the thing you prize

last night i drank one glass of wine and then i went to bed at 7:30PM and woke up at 12:30 or so and didn't feel sleepy anymore at all so signed up for a flickr acct and a bunch of other stuff which i added to my sidebar as widgets.

yesterday there were these two kids at the park, i thought they were bro & sis. anyway, the boy starts walking toward me with a rock in his hand and he makes unusual sort of grunting sounds and raises his arm up like maybe he was thinking about throwing the rock at me or in my direction but then he walks up to me and hands me the rock. so i'm like... uh??? so i look at the rock and say that it is a cool rock and ask if it is clay? by this time i'm pretty sure the kid has some sort of disability and i really don't know what to do at this point so i just throw the rock over into a dirt field area where there are a lot of other similar rocks. then i'm like, hmmm was that the right thing to do? maybe that was a special rock? maybe he wanted to keep it? was it rude of me to just toss it aside after he had made a very specific gesture of giving it to me, a complete stranger.

anyway, i've since moved on.

me in first grade

repost about my haircolor

a rope swing

yesterday i planted a lot of purple balloon flower plants. i've been doing yardwork everydaybecause it is fun.

our crabapple tree is in bloom.

i just rubbed vitamin E oil all over my skin.

we watched deja vu today. at first we were making fun of how dramatic it was and how they were making denzel out to be some sort of omnipotent superhero type of guy who can do no wrong... and the movie just seemed so commercial BUT it gets pretty good.

i've never been in love with denzel, but his face expresses emotion well. val kilmer's role was unusual. he seemed different. i like adam goldberg. i must ad mit that i did fall asleep during the movie but that is because i was really tired. scott said i missed a good ending.

this is you

i'm cooking tri-tip right now. it's for dinner, tho. we will probably get sandwiches for lunch and go to the park to eat them? or just take a nap. feeling a little bummed. it's the transits. why do i look for approval from people i don't respect?

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” --Washington Irving

weigh in

here is an example of what i am talking about.

how is this guy able to run a business when some might say he is barely literate?

we cannot automatically conclude that this person is stupid. they may have been in a hurry, unfamiliar with the computer, a bad typist or any number of things. it is petty to make a big issue out of it. i think it is funny to read signs like this but i don't desire to make the guy who wrote the sign suffer for his mistake.

isn't that WEIRD?

i only need 420 votes to beat Dooce for Hottest Mommy Blogger.

somebody launch a campaign!

you don't want Dooce to win, do you?

whatever.

i am going to take a shower and then put that stupid temp AUBURN haircolor in my auburn hair. haha. i DO have a couple of grays i need to cover. but my color just needs a little Kick so i don't grow bitter and hardened in my middle age. is 35 middle age? no. for women, tho? yeah. probably.

i'll be 34 on JUNE 7th.

today is our neighbor's birthday and he and his friends have been partying pretty much non-stop, 2/3rds of the time is spent in the front yard drinking and cavorting. which is fine, really. except i was trying to sunbathe in the backyard and i felt like everyone could see me and was watching me, but probably even moreso since we do not have a back fence and so everyone on the north forty can see me in my bathing suit, that is if they are not blinded by how white i am. i had to tone it down in this foto so you could actually SEE me! HA

the sunlight in your universe

while i love 'grammar' and 'spelling' and 'vocabulary' as subjects of study,

i do not think that they hold as much weight in what people think of as 'success' or 'intelligence' as many people seem to think. to me it seems actually like snobbery. a person could be very good at reading and writing and still not be effectual in the world. (believe me, i know this) OR they could be illiterate and completely CHANGE the world for the better.

i'm sure there are countless examples of this

none come to mind at the moment.

but i mean i just hate it when people are like, "well, you can't even spell..." as though that is seriously a relevant point. get over it. total straw man argument, right?

okay, literacy is important. i'm not denying that. but it isn't as important as it used to be in the same sense that it used to be because we have all information available to us at the push of a button. whomever takes over the world will not do it through literacy but through violence, in any case. at this point it seems might is right in the world today. do we see the intelligent people prevailing? if so-- inform me because maybe you know more than i do about this.

the group dynamic

i would like to take a nap right now.

haloscan has been impaired all day.

sorry about that.

if i don't keep myself busy, i get depressed.

which is probably common.

i have never liked participating in social behavior.

it just seems like so much game-playing.

i always want to be the one person who isn't playing games.

and what fun is it to live in fear of judgment?

drive-by shooting?