smart aleck

yesterday, i went to the zen group and i was the only new person there. they asked me what i thought. i said i thought it was easy compared to some groups with which i have sat. i said it seemed short. it was 20 minutes sitting then 10 minutes walking and 15 minutes sitting again. like mini-zen. then they asked me if i would prefer longer sits? i said i didn't know if i would prefer them, but that the last place was longer (two hours instead of 45 minutes) and they did prostrations and chanting. what i really meant was that i was glad it wasn't very hard because sometimes i don't go back when it's harder. anyway, i'm afraid i came off as arrogant. but, i did mention that maybe i wasn't concentrating hard enough. i managed to keep track of counting my breaths, but still my mind was secretly ruminating about the normal stuff that i obsess about all the time. it reminds me of when i was in first grade and during naptime this boy Jason and I were feeling eachother up and we got in trouble and were sent to the office. the principal wasn't there so the secretary swatted us with this big wooden paddle that had holes in it. she was really nice and it didn't hurt and i said so. she asked me if i'd like another. i said, no.