i am capable of writing relatively well (or not)

for some reason it just seems like i never have the time to really write anything anymore. when i read other (more interesting) blogs, i think to myself: i could do that. but, i don't do it. and they do. hmmm. is it just that i'm intimidated by the official seeming blogger template? i don't know. what if i don't look at the screen while i write? what if i were to close my eyes and talk about my day? this morning, when i woke up, i was very irritable. it was cold outside and i wasn't in the mood to exert myself, but i had to because i have to either walk to school or ride my bike. those are my choices. i chose the bike because it is faster, but arcata is full of hills which make biking rather strenuous... especially since i refuse to buy bikes with gears due to a phobia from childhood when all my expensive bikes would get stolen and i would get in trouble for not locking them up. since then, i've opted to never get bikes that ppl would want to steal. plus, there's just something disconcerting to me about bikes with gears. i like old-fashioned, pee-wee herman type bikes. by the time i got to school, i was hot which also makes me grouchy. i am often grouchy. i complain a lot, too. which makes me feel guilty. right before yoga, i felt like i really didn't want to go to yoga today. i thought to myself, i'll just half-arse it today. but, i didn't. in the end, i'm always glad i went to yoga. but then, i feel bad because yoga is all about sort of enjoying the sensation of aliveness and often i do just the opposite of that in my life. (would that be hating the sensation of non-aliveness? no.) so then, my drawing class went on a mini field trip to the arcata plaza... a place famous for pot-smoking homeless crazy hippies. they were pretty distracting to me, but i managed to whip out a couple of decent sketches (see photoblog thumbnails on sidebar) while i was there. i left class early, though, because i lost interest after those two drawings. one thing is that i always like to be 'teacher's pet' but my drawing teacher has this annoying way of making me feel like he doesn't listen to a word i say even though he acts like he is listening. another thing i really don't like is when cars who have the right-of-way at a four-way stop try to be polite and let me (as a pedestrian whom i suppose technically does have the right-of-way) go first. the whole time i just feel like i'd rather let them go and cross without the pressure of them waiting for me to finish! okay, that's enough. see what happens when i actually write?