Sunday, December 31, 2006

love like winter

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yesterday we rented the descent and it was pretty much laaaaaaaame.
another one of those horror movies that doesn't mean to be a comedy, but is.
it further solidifies my belief that movie critics are full of shyte because they mostly LIKED that movie! don't ask me why.
today i was thinking that maybe the movie was supposed to be saying that the main girl was insane and it was ACTUALLY her that killed all her friends and it wasn't those vampire things at all! those were just a figment of her imagination. but if that IS what was going on in the movie... they don't make that very clear.
the whole thing was dumbsville.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

it looks good on YOU

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I went ahead and ate a few bites of snow today even though I worry that it is acid snow and is polluted. I think it did have a funny aftertaste. But it was fun, anyway.

today two different old ladies sort of complimented and insulted my hair at the same time. It was cool. One of them said that my hair was very pretty even though she doesn’t like red hair, but my hair is a pretty color like sort of auburn. The other one said that I look very much like my mother except for my hair is not brown, but she said that my hair isn’t natural. (not true, thanks for making that statement like it is a verified fact)

which reminds me of a time my mom took me to get my haircut when I was a kid and the barber-dude accused her of dying my hair and said that I was too young for that. My mom insisted that it was not dyed and he insisted that it was because nobody’s hair is naturally that color.


Photo Hosted at Buzznet actually, it's a trick. i do look old. i have jowels and a double chin. i just don't show them to you.
one of my doc martens has been out on the front porch for weeks because i stepped in dog doo and never felt like cleaning it off. i wanted to wear the boot today and it is frozen solid, so i put it under the woodburning stove to thaw. then i have to clean it with a wet wipe. isn't that amazing?

Friday, December 29, 2006

gotta get away from me

my house has perma-mess. (when i talk about the house being messy it is my house, but really it is not exactly mine) i have to clean it. i keep getting bored and tired of cleaning it and then i get back on the computer. and then i feel guilty again and try to do more cleaning. it's a vicious cycle.

tomorrow my mommy will be here and she is bringing presents!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

jack sprat could eat no fat

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accepted is very um junior high-ish. just so you know. i couldn't sustain my interest in it... or should i say disbelief...

i have fallen off the wagon of eating healthy. last night i ate pizza and today i had cheese dip. tsk tsk.
maybe i will take an art class starting next month/year. maybe i will start going to a church just because i never go anywhere or talk to anyone so it would be at least a way to interact with people, not that i want to actually go to church.
i have got to get out more.

i've been thinking a lot lately about the ethics of eating. i read a book called the vegetarian alternative. i'm probably not going to become a vegetarian, however, because really it is hypocritical to think that we can live on this planet without causing harm to anything. that's impossible. but there is no need to be excessive, either. for instance, meat-eating is not necessary for most people and should really be considered a luxury. there's more but i am done typing for now.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

don't even listen to me

to celebrate my newfound resolution to grow up, i just watched jackass 2! woohoo! they are an example of the height of maturity, don't you think?

but johnny knoxville is attractive to me for some reason.
and i was squealing with delight/horror throughout the whole thing.

those guys are INSANE.
i remember one time like 5 years ago, i was in a political science class at modesto junior college and for some reason the subject of that show jackass came up and i raised my hand and said i thought that show was complete idiocy and some other dumb chick got totally pissed at me and said, "well don't watch it then!" and i said something like, just because you don't like something doesn't mean the answer is to just 'not watch it.' and she got all pissy and the prof told her that was uncalled for. haha.
i'm so ridiculous.

my new year's resolution is coming early

i have decided to start acting my age, or at least try. i am sick of feeling inadequate because i'm not a little hottie anymore. there is MORE to life than being a SEX OBJECT people!
it sickens me to face the daily barrage of people i have no hope of ever being or emulating. anyway, one of the first steps is to update my blogroll a little here and there each day with blogs that inspire me rather than deflate me. i've added 2 thirty-six yr old women who seem to espouse values other than nakedness and drunkedness and i am on the lookout for more creative women of substance out there.

maybe i'm just not COOL and i'm exhausted from denying that fact. or maybe what's cool just really isn't all that cool to begin with.

i'm trying to find some equilibrium here. it's a process. my mid-life crisis. time to accept who i am now and find some hope for who i will become. i'm not an airhead, (usually) and i'm not a shallow empty shell with nothing going for her but her appearance. it is sad to me that anyone is like that.

i don't want to be all high and mighty about it. i'm not saying these other types are bad or wrong... but that i am just not exactly one of them.... and it is time to start accepting myself for who i really am.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

hey y'all

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i don't even ever say y'all. not at all.

but it is the first thing that popped into my mind for a post title, so there you have it.

today was an extremely stormy day-- the worst we've seen this year; and, we had to drive in it for six hours! we were in a hurry and hungry so we had dinner at mcdonalds which SUCKS so bad. i cannot stand their food except for breakfast. it is just horrible.

oh yeah, and i find watching the snow rush toward the windshield at night one of the most mesmerizing activities ever. it's like you're going warp speed ahead in outerspace, star wars style.
good night.

i knew that

Testriffic IQ test

every time i take an i.q. test this is the score i get... so how come i feel so dumb? and how come when i was taking the test i felt like i was getting every answer wrong? too weird.
and how come my life is such a mess?
how come my blog is so boring?
how come so many other people seem smarter and more interesting than i do?

Monday, December 25, 2006

merry effin' christmas

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i hope you all had a great christmas cuz my sucked rotten eggs.
i got no presents, there was no exchanging of gifts of any sort in our household and i didn't go to any type of events or christmas celebrations of any sort.

worst. christmas. ever.

oh well. i probably deserve it.

but, hey.... what's one sucky christmas out of my whole life?
i guess i'll survive.


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the kitty cats' present this christmas morning was a can of stinky wet food! yay for them.
see how nice and generous i am to them?
in a few hours they will have forgotten the whole experience and be acting like they are starving nigh unto death.
those liars! spoilt kitties.

omg, it is always awkward for me when people say "i love you" to me and it's like, well... i might love you too, but i hadn't really deeply thought about it and it freaks me out to have to say it out loud and then i feel really conspicuous for not saying anything back!!!!! aaaaaaaahch.
but if i were DRUNK it would be SUCH a different story because THEN I love EVERYONE!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

glory glory

my lifelong lemons-with-salt addiction has taken its toll on my teeth. my front teeth have brown holes in the enamel. it is gross. i must get them fixed so i don't constantly look like i have spinach in my teeth or something gross.

oh this morning i am grouchy and i was trying to blowdry my hair and i got annoyed and YELLED at an inflatable ducky bathtub to "get OUT of my way!"

Saturday, December 23, 2006

naked chicks

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today i bought flax seed and wheat germ and spinach leaves and tomatoes and 100% pure cranberry juice cuz i am a health nut.

i also rented Lady in the Water cuz i like m. night shyamalan and also i like paul giamatti.

the lady at the video store said i looked nice today.

did i mention i got two more blank canvasses? yeah. i think i will do a female nude on one of them, maybe.

Friday, December 22, 2006

online entertainment

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i don't think most people necessarily go online to do Heavy Reading or Heavy Thinking. i think people either want FAST info or they want to be entertained in order to briefly escape from their own life. i don't think people go online to be hit harder in the face with reality than life already does for them. do you?

drop it and run

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we went bowling yesterday. we only bowled ONE game which seems retarded, actually. or whatever. but, it was COLD in that place, for one thing. also, it was our first time to that bowling alley and it was kind of a disappointment. i'm used to bigger, better bowling alleys. but, i'm still glad we went. it was just so-so.

there are no good movies playing here except maybe Apacolypto, but there are no matinees. it's easier for us to go to a matinee cuz of the baby. i don't know. it's just that if scott's mom watches her at night it has to be at our house and then she looks around and sees what a horrible housekeeper i am or something and gets all bent out of shape about it.
okay this is not necessary.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

okay, i'll do it

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not sure if i've ever really followed when someone tagged me, but now Moi!/greensickle tagged me, so here goes:

here are five things you don't know about me in this very instant of my mood and life...

1. i just got back from visiting my neighbors because i gave them one of the felt christmas tree ornaments that i made. they were watching a star trek voyager marathon which they had tivo'd.

2. right now i am cooking some bacon-wrapped turkey filet mignon. never tried it before, but it should be healthy.

3. today i put my hair in two braids and scott said i looked pretty and asked me if i did something new to my hair. aw.

4. i think i dreamed about liverwurst or braunschweiger the other day.

5. i prefer cold weather to hot.

what to wear

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i'm trying to figure out a style for myself. what's my style? i don't know. i can't really go out buying new clothes so i have to make do with whatever i find. anyway, i am just LOVING checking out different styles that people wear. is a really cool site where you can search by age and find real people's outfits from all over the world.

have a smoke

Last night WE watched Clerks II and since I am the QUEEN of UP-TO-THE-MINUTE news on pop culture, I will now share with you my views on this movie. It is funny and good. At first I was like, I don’t even recognize that one guy (Dante Hicks) because he looked so OLD. They are supposed to be my age: 33. that is OLD. OLD OLD OLD. Not in high school anymore, heck not even in your twenties. did i just say heck?
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I’m gonna have to either accept this or do something drastic to pretend it isn’t the case. Like get plastic surgery like the people on Plastic Surgery Before and After. That’s a fun show to watch. It really convinced me that plastic surgery might actually be a good idea! I mean, some of those people really look so much better. Oh NO. I’ve bought into the lie, haven’t i?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

what do you know?

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i have things i should be doing. always.
i'm just getting over a 2-3 hr. headache. that's always fun!

what have i eaten today?

1. a granola bar that has flax seeds and pumpkin seeds.
2. a $1 mcdonalds bacon cheeseburger with small fries. yuk. i shoulda said no ONIONS! i do not like onions on most things. i don't mind them if they are cooked into something, though.
3. some tortilla chips dipped in yogurt.

i'd say that isn't enough.

i am mad at blogs

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Today I got a big garbage bag full of free maternity jumpers/shirts that I am going to pretend are cool new tunics for me that are TOTALLY in STYLE!
Cuz they are!
Maternity clothes are the new belly shirts. Get it? BELLY!
Because they will either cover up my belly or make people think I am pregnant. Who cares. I’m being PROGRESSIVE.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

it'll be okay

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today we picked up frozen pinecones and put them in a box and brought them home to use as kindling for the stove.

i hemmed the dress that i tried to make into a tunic.
scott has rented and watched both miami vice and dead man's chest. i couldn't maintain much interest in either of them, really.

i've been obsessing over my digestive process lately.
today i am not having wine.
yesterday i only had a small small glass.


i've been trying to wear lots of necklaces 80s stylez; but, sophie the baby likes to yank on them a lot. so, i needed to go do something really important (i'm sure) so i put the necklaces on 'daddy' so she could still yank on them while he held her; however, she totally lost interest in yanking on them while he was wearing them. it's only fun on mommy, apparently!
that's funny. and then while i was holding her and letting her play with my camera (the item of ULTIMATE fascination for the baby) she was perfectly content. so then we gave her to daddy and she started to be bored with the camera. it's just funny.

slow down and savor it

i am not thrilled.
having a positive attitude-- do you think that is all it takes?
i don't have a right to hate my life, do i?
i don't have a right to do anything.

i am frustrated with my blog, too.
i should be sleeping.
but don't TELL me what to DO!

Monday, December 18, 2006

lower the boom!

we watched da vinci code. meh. it was fine. did i say that if tom hanks were my professor i would have a crush on him?

sucks to be me

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i don't have any plain yogurt or cottage cheese and that makes me nervous. so then i think i should go get some but am not sure if i am dressed appropriately and i don't want to have to worry about it but the store hasn't even HAD plain yogurt in stock this week... which just seems wrong to me. i mean, what if i needed that to survive? cuz i do. i feel like i am healthy when i'm eating those things. otherwise i will eat junk like nacho cheese sauce dipped in butter. heheheh.
anyway, i still WANT cottage cheese so i should just go GET some. but there are always reasons why i can't. i just thought of another reason.

it's the little things

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my stomach has been all rumbly grumble the past coupla days. not sure why... don't really care that much. i'm fine...
oh yeah, the other day i found a good price on a package of 'knickers'/underwear/panties whatever you want to call them and they were ok and i needed some so fine. i found my size and threw them in the cart. when i got home i realized they were the up-the-but kind! basically unwearable, in my opinion. great. i guess they'll do in certain situation, but not for daily use. i can't STAND wearing things that crawl up my butt.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

i'm not a perfect person

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i try hard to be nice and good.
but it's hard...
that's why i wish that i were so rich that everyone would just have to deal with my neuroses or they're FIRED!
but alas and alack... that is not the case.
and of course, that would be so BORIng, anyway, don't you think?

my nails are too short. it feels funny.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

it's a mystery

today i cut another dress into a tunic-type top.
watched devil wears prada and loved meryl streep's performance/character very much. i love how she always complains how she doesn't see why it is so challenging for someone to do something that she wants them to do. i told scott i wished i could be her and he said i already am.

anyway, i ended up really likeing ann hathaway after this movie. sorta. her eyes are huge. she has very prominent features. but i mostly only liked her once she started dressing better.
oh yeah, and i love stanley tucci. he's just a really great actor, don't you think?

right up my alley

i want to rent devil wears prada. have you seen it? i love meryl streep. not so much anne hathaway.

HOW could i POSSibly have forgOTTEN to mention BEERFEST?
we rented THAT gem.

no really, scott enjoyed it.

that is why i am going to rent material girls and make him be in the room while i watch THAT! HAHAHAHA!

here ya go

this is what i ate for lunch yesterday
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i have invisible splinters in two of my fingers. they are very small but very irritating.

we watched you, me & dupree last night. it was okay. nothing special.
owen wilson being owen wilson... maybe a little too much of that.
kate hudson's movies are generally mediocre, in my opinion. Photo Hosted at
i am making these felt christmas tree ornaments to give as christmas gifts. Photo Hosted at

Friday, December 15, 2006

tongue monster from outerspace

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human tongue anatomy
Have you ever looked at the way far back part of your tongue? It’s not the anterior (that’s the front) it’s at the BASE of the tongue. Well there are these HUGE bumps back there, I guess they are tastebuds; but, I remember the first time I saw them… I may have been 13, I FREAKED OUT! They looked like suction cups on an octopus’ tentacles! It scared me half to death, seriously! I felt like a monster. I couldn’t believe I had never noticed them before. I thought surely something must be terribly wrong with my tongue! But then I found out it was normal when I showed my mom and she laughed and said it was okay.

it’s weird how the unknown frightens us when we are faced with it.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

i think i changed my mind

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today i cut this dress into a shirt. it was like down to my ankles before. i wore it while i was pregnant, actually; although it is not a maternity dress. but now it is somewhat in style and i want to hem it.
see? holding onto clothes can come in handy. of course, i would like to have more money to buy more clothes, but sometimes you just have to make do with what is available.

a vote for raymi is a vote for awesomeness

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(pictured: our cat teddy)

love raymi or hate her
tell me she is not remarkable:

i found this in this critical? comment thread about raymi:


vote here

(badge by Krista/Oceanaria)

tell me all of this isn't fascinating?

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

wax idiotic

hello world.
today i made some semi-homemade christmas cards because i am semi-awesome.
i am glad that my boyfriend doesn't go to parties and hang out with hot sluts on a regular basis because if he did i would be very envious and pissed off.

this has something to do with a dream i had last night where he was all dressed up (which i have NEVER seen) and he was going to his office work party (which, he has never really worked in an office) and i was all, "I KNOW that you can bring your partner." and he was all,"yeah but i don't want to bring you because you would create a scene." so then i KNEW that he was going to be partying with hot chicks all night or else what reason would i have to be pissed?
but it was just a dream.
also, in our dream, we had two huge swimming pools in our backyard in which he was swimming with some hot chick that was pissing me off but then i couldn't find him.
and then other stuff happened. it was weird.
that's all.

skeleton city

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at the thrift store today i got two sweaters for myself, two christmas wreaths for a quarter each (and they are cute), four christmas gifts, two necklaces (cheapos) and a coupla other little things. t'was fun.

there is another necklace there that i really want but it's $2.50... so i have to think about it. i think it's a good deal, really.

did you watch the barbara wawa special last night? it was interesting. i had no idea that sasha baron cohen is jewish! that changes everything.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

zero tolerance

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some people have no interest in fashion and they don't understand it so they think it is vain and shallow to even concern yourself with it.
i think of it as a form of art, creativity & self-expression. i LOVE fashion, but i wouldn't want to be completely immersed in that world. i enjoy watching from the outskirts. Photo Hosted at Buzznet
it is seriously hard for me to adjust my mind to some aspects of getting older. i think i am having a really long identity crisis.

i sorta feel like college is dumb, now. when you're in college you feel all special like you're really doing something important, but it's a fantasy world: academia. you get a false sense of self-importance.

but, now that i'm out, i don't have anyone to talk to about a lot of my interests, which is why i like to spend a lot of time on-line, but then that seems to further isolate me. in other words: yes, i'm lonely. i think i've always been that way & ultimately it is inherent in being human.

i like organizing things

There’s at least one thing I DO know and it is that nobody else made their blog header/banner out of gummy alphabet letters on a paper plate and then took a photo of it. So mleh! :-P

I don’t know what happens in the afterlife.
I think sorta-suicides and other people too have to like I dunno sorta make amends and are stuck in-between worlds.
the sad part is that today(now yesterday -- the 11th) is my late father’s birthday. Our late father.
and of course, I love him.

and this makes me wonder again about meaning. Is there any?
is there?
what happens?

questions unanswered.
okay, I am being way too deep for my own good. It never gets me anywhere.

okay. My dad’s birthday is over now.

p.s. if scott is allowed to poison his body with sugar and refined white flour and other foodstuffs devoid of nutrients then I am allowed to defile my body with a bottle of red wine per day. Is that wrong? Okay, how ‘bout half a bottle? Only after 8PM?

Monday, December 11, 2006

i can post

we have absolutely NO christmas decorations up at our house.
i kind of wish we did.

i tried to half-assedly hang some lights on our front porch but there was no plug and i gave up very quickly on that.

i want to bring them in but now they are all wet because of the rain.

see? life is too hard.

why can't i get away with being lame?
because i don't work out enough?
because my hair isn't long enough?
because i need cosmetic surgery?
new clothes?


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Today I am committing the mortal sin of wearing stirrup pants! (not shown)
But I like they way they feel, so too bad for you if you hate them.

It is snowing outside so if I do go outside, I’ll be wearing boots anyways. But I don’t want to go outside. I should make something good like a stew.

*** I just ate a salad of red leaf lettuce, tomatoes, avocado and plain yogurt. Also a few tortilla chips.

we are watching a very interesting show about what meth does to the body. (on learning channel.)

vote for raymi's blog

The 2006 Weblog Awards
vote here
she blogs full-time and posts more daily than most people do in a week.
also she is kicking dooce's behind which makes me happy

i'm not sleeping

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I slept a lot on the drive home so now I don’t feel sleepy.
I can look in one good thrift store for at least an hour. I like to look at every single item in the store. The shirt I found is growing on me, I’m happy with it. I found it in the lingerie section. That’s why I have to look at every item because things aren’t always where they belong, so you might miss something really cool just because it wasn’t where you were expecting it to be.

I need accessories though. Necklaces and bracelets.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

nobody understands me

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i like to watch the show the girls next door which is about these playboy bunnies who live with hugh heffner. it's very interesting, the lives those women live.

it is really hard for people in my world to understand my interest in blogs and blogging. it's hard for me to understand why they don't understand until i am faced with my boyfriend's undying interest in looking at cars on ebay. i thought that once he bought a car he would not need to keep shopping for one. but he enjoys it just for the sake of doing it. he sees it as being similar to my interest in blogging. my mom thinks it is crazy for me to be so interested in blogging. scott's parents, too. they probably think it is a big waste of time, just like i think shopping for cars is a waste of time. so who is using their time the best in the world?

a swarm of birds

i wish my laptop worked (complain complain)
because i want to be able to watch the simpsons while i type on my blog.
it is due to my own general negligence as a person
that i haven't taken care of the situation.
so now i am doomed to suffer.
and fulfill my martyr complex.
i've been wearing the same outfit for like five days straight it feels like, because i had to travel light enough to still be mobile.

**p.s. i did wash it!