Thursday, December 30, 2004

technologic bliss

hello. right now, since I'm between semesters, my life consists largely of playing The 'Urbs on Gameboy Advance; or, Neopets. Exciting schtuff, eh? Well, I mix in television, too... just to spice it up. also, I occasionally eat. I'm looking forward to a new semester. I dunno. I'm sure I'll find other stuff to do. Like read. yeah.... that's it.

Monday, December 27, 2004

post-holiday update

Well, I am still alive and well after the holiday craziness. All-in-all, it wasn't so bad. Tiring, though. Today I saw Lemony Snickett's A Series of Unfortunate Events. It was enjoyable, but seemed like it ought to have been a television special. I don't know why.... it just didn't seem very important to me. I found myself starting to nod off. It was cute, though. So.... next will be New Year's Eve. At the moment I am not sure of my plans. update: I had weird dreams last night because of that movie. I guess that is pretty cool.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

i knew that

My top result for the selector, Which ancient Chinese philosophy do you agree with most?, is Taoism
  • Taoism-You believe that government is generally a pretty stupid thing. You think that all this debate and hassle is too much trouble and is inherently a bad thing. You prefer to embrace nature and each person's dow, or natural course of life. You think that whatever happens happens.

  • Monday, December 20, 2004

    hee hee

    NEOPETS, characters, logos, names and all related indicia are trademarks of Neopets, Inc., © 1999-2004. ® denotes Reg. US Pat. & TM Office. All rights reserved.

    Sunday, December 19, 2004

    Dumpster Diving

    Hey, I know someone who dumpster dives and I've never thought to do it myself until now. You know, it is actually kind of cool. It's very punk rock, man. I've decided that I can dig it. Not only can I dig it, but tonight is the first night that I am actually gonna give it a whirl. Who knows what excitement I may find. I'll keep you posted.

    I like Photography

    I took this picture of these lovely geese at my Grandpa's house. Geese make for cool photos. They are otherwise generally annoying. Posted by Hello

    Saturday, December 18, 2004

    dating myself

    when these movies were released in the U.S. my age was: Jaws: 2 Star Wars: 3 Animal House: 4 Star Trek: The Motion Picture: 6 ET: 9 The Terminator: 11 Top Gun: 12 Planes, Trains & Automobiles: 14 Steel Magnolias: 16 Home Alone: 17 Wayne's World: 18 Jurassic Park: 20 Forrest Gump: 21 Fargo: 22 Saving Private Ryan: 25 Toy Story 2: 26 and I was: 2 years old when Saturday Night Live first aired 4 years old when CBS introduced Dallas 7 years old during the first airing of Hill Street Blues 9 years old at the time the first Cheers episode was televised 13 years old when L.A. Law was first aired on TV 13 years old at the time the series Married with Children began 16 years old when Seinfeld was first televised 18 years old in the month Home Improvement began 21 years old at the time the TV series Friends began

    Closer too close for comfort?

    I liked the movie Closer. Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts and that other dude.... who looked kinda like Dylan McDermott, but.... what's his name? Clive? hang on.... Clive Owen, yeah that's it. Anyway-- they were all delightful to watch. The movie was a veritable mind-f*ck. I dunno. I think it might be difficult for some couples to watch... and even most individuals might squirm at some of the films more embarrassingly honest moments. Your own vulnerability will be bared and seen for what it is.... Need. Weakness? Really, it's a great movie. Psychologically satisfying... leaves you wondering about human nature and stuff and junk. In the continual quest for that ever-elusive final happiness will we ever realize that the grass is never greener?

    Friday, December 17, 2004

    Maybe I should read this book.

    The name of the rose Umberto Eco: The Name of the Rose. You are a mystery novel dealing with theology, especially with catholic vs liberal issues. You search wisdom and knowledge endlessly, feeling that learning is essential in life. update: I got both The Poisonwood Bible and a book by Umberto Eco at a used bookstore today. They didn't have The Name of the Rose, but this one's supposed to be even better. It's called Faoucault's Pendulum. Which literature classic are you? brought to you by Quizilla

    Wednesday, December 15, 2004

    another guilty pleasure...

    ...and a shameless plug for the new Hershey's S'mores candy bar. It's so good it should be illegal or something. It unbelievably good.

    one of my favorite guilty pleasures

    I just LOVE the writing in these biting criticisms of celebrity extravagance. So wonderful. They really word them so well. The link probably won't last forever... but, oh well. You have to click on one of the pictures to see the captions.

    Tuesday, December 14, 2004

    Sunday, December 12, 2004

    i felt the earth move under my feet

    Early this morning, (1:AM) there was an earthquake. I heard it and it quite startled me. There was a loud rumbling, shaking sound. It appeared to be coming from the computer in the room. I thought it must've been the neighbors, or an alien, or a poltergeist. Scott said it must've been an earthquake. I checked this morning, and: Well, Blow me down! It was an earthquake, by gum! Trip-endicular.

    Thursday, December 09, 2004

    This rules!

    Check out the painting I did. Thanks to Janet for the link.

    teacher evaluations

    Normally, when I have filled out teacher evaluations in the past, I was pretty disinterested and just filled in 5-excellent in every bubble. Today, however, I went off! I wrote more on this evaluation of my Archaeology teacher than I did in my essay on the last exam. I said just what I thought and was quite serious in my opinions. Now, when I think about what I wrote, it makes me laugh. It's funny that I felt so empassioned. That teacher really ticked me off though. It was just something about his attitude that just didn't work for me. Don't get me wrong, he's an interesting and charismatic guy, and I said so on my evaluation. It's really just his teaching style that was a problem for me. It's funny though, because I phrased all my suggestions like this: "I would prefer ... blah blah blah" Mostly, I just felt like his attitude was so non-chalant that it made it difficult to take him seriously at all. It's like he succeeded in disrupting his own class by acting like a class clown? Anyway. My opinions of him probably say more about me than they do about him. As is usual with opinions.

    two words

    the definitions of which reveal two things that should not be used to discuss or solve problems. hyperbole rhetoric

    Wednesday, December 08, 2004

    wanna know why i'm so screwed up?

    I'll tell ya... I was reminded today because the song Hotel California came on the radio and it brought back a childhood memory of when I used to be deathly afraid and have panic attacks whenever I heard that song. "Why?" you may ask. I will tell you. When I was a kid, my mom thought she was doing me a favor by sending me to a Christian school. Unfortunately, it backfired. They put the fear of God in us, alright. I used to think songs like Hotel CA were evil songs about the devil-- and I didn't think it was cool like I do now. Also, I used to keep my mom up late every night for years because I was afraid that the Rapture would come "like a thief in the night" and my parents and all my family were sinners and would surely go to hell. I used to pray for them that they would be forgiven so they could join me in Heaven. That's just wrong to do to little kids, y'know? Anyway, I got over all that when I hit puberty. I took control of that. Quit church, quit Christian school.... ended up Buddhist. Now, I really enjoy studying world religion and culture... but, I'm not Evangelical or a Bible-thumper. So, I guess I'm not too screwed up.

    Tuesday, December 07, 2004

    I am Violet Ice

    Seductive. Musical. Inspiring. "People look to you for inspiration. You are one of a kind and not afraid to be different. Your talent comes from a deep and powerful place. You were born to communicate, so it is important that you are conscious of what you say and do. Your personal color resonates with spirituality."

    Monday, December 06, 2004

    Question of the Day

    Why do you blog? Are you a writer at heart? Is it a passion? Or because it's en vogue? I blog to procrastinate.... to avoid doing things that I think I ought to be doing, but would really rather not do. such as studying for finals or writing papers. i have thought of myself as a writer at heart, but i often lack inspiration. It's definitely not a passion. It is more of a compulsion than a passion. A way to, at the same time, both avoid and create anxiety. I blog also to keep a record of things I find interesting. I blog in the hope that someone else out there might find the things interesting which interest me. I blog as a semi-creative outlet and as a chance to experiment and learn.

    this may be old news to you

    ....but, I think it is important to spread the word. Internet Porn, though ubiquitous, is not innocuous.

    Quizilla strikes again!

    selkie The Scottish selkie was a being who appeared to be a seal, but had the ability to shed their skin and roam the land in human form. If a human were to happen upon the discarded seal skin, he or she could hide it and force the selkie to marry him or her. However, if the selkie were to ever find the skin, he or she would immediately reassume seal form and return to the sea from whence they came, leaving their spouse and offspring on land to forever mourn their loss. As a selkie, you are a very withdrawn, secretive and somewhat sad person, and those around you find you alluring and mystifying. People who come into your life find it difficult to find the inner you. You are also curious, but you enjoy the comforts of home most of all. Who is your inner Shapeshifter? brought to you by Quizilla

    Tuesday, November 30, 2004

    i feel so different

    I'm your only friend I'm not your only friend but I'm a little glowing friend but really, I'm not actually your friend, but I am. There's a picture opposite me of my primitive ancestry who used to walk the rocky shores and keep the beaches shipwreck free. Though I respect that a lot, I'd be fired if that were my job after killing Jason off and countless screaming argonauts. That song rocks!

    Saturday, November 27, 2004

    Purity of the soul depends on her being clarified by a life that is divided, and on her entering into a life of unity. --Meister Eckhart, on death.

    Thursday, November 25, 2004

    turkey day: gobble gobble

    Ugh. My back hurts I'm tired I'm over-stimulated. I'm thankful that I was able to have a very good Thanksgiving dinner with family in a really nice house. We had everything good followed by coffee and pie. Now, I just want to hide here in this walk-in closet/computer room and stare at the blinking computer screen until my brainwaves go into Beta phase.

    Tuesday, November 23, 2004

    blogging as therapy

    I have discovered that many people use their blog as a therapist. What a great idea. It reminds me of some book I read a long time ago... I don't remember the book, but there were these robot type things that served as psychotherapists. They just said things like, "Interestink... and how do you feel about your mother?"


    A friend found this on Craig's list and sent it to me! Hi-larious. And so accurate. Emotional Cripple Seeks Good Looking Crutch - 31 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Recently released emotional cripple is seeking good looking crutch for long term, damaging relationship based on unrealistic expectations. I'm a 31, manic depressive with anxiety disorder and fear of intimacy. Employed, blue eyes, dark hair, weeps at imagined slights. You be 29-35, good looking, able to deflect jealous accusations with ease, and passive aggressive. Together we can embark upon a journey of discovery and projection while reenacting childhood traumas involving rejection from our parents! With my commitment issues and hysterical paranoia and your unchecked anger management problems, we're an unstoppable team of crushing instability!

    Monday, November 22, 2004

    Name 3 things...

    1. cannot live without. FOOD--because it is yummy and makes life good. Plants- they are pretty and it is nice for them to be around. Animals- they make me happy when skies are grey. 2. CAN live without, but cannot seem to part with. The Internet. Coffee Pacifico with lemons and salt. 3. wish to accomplish this COMING week. catch up on all my homework make stuff to take to thanksgiving dinner call Amtrak. 4. have accomplished this PAST week. read a lot of random people's blogs partied naked in a hot tub with two guys and 3 girls. traveled to my mom's house. 5. ...on your holiday (or non-holiday) 'wish list.' R.E.M.'s new CD. The new Nirvana CD/DVD set My So-Called Life on DVD 6. would like to change about yourself. Stop shaming myself. Procrastinate less. Commit to something! 7. like about yourself. I am Unique. I am creative. I type fast. 8. should be doing right now instead of what you ARE doing. Reading a hundred million chapters. Writing a paper about child prostitution in the philippines. eating breakfast. 9. your life that could use a little more organization. finances brain time

    Saturday, November 20, 2004

    the great conjunction

    Today, I saw my grandpa for the first time in a while.... for the first time since his wife (my step-grandma) passed away. Initially, it was quite a shock and I am embarrassed that I immediately started crying. I gave him a hug. I was able to compose myself pretty quickly. I didn't mean to upset him, I just couldn't help it. The grandpa that lay there on the bed didn't match up to the image I've always held of him in my mind's eye. Now, I'm okay. I've come to terms with it. For the time being.

    Thursday, November 18, 2004

    this could be the saddest dusk i've ever seen turn to a miracle

    Blah! What. A. Day. I have been completely devoid of any semblance of energy or motivation at all today. What did I do? I wasted the entire day in front of the computer looking at people's random blogs. I'd never done that before... just scrolled through everyone's blogs on blogger. It's amazing. THere are so many people and they all have something to say. It's very interesting. I think to myself, "Life sucks, this day sucks... everything's a mess... it's overwhelming." But, I always end up feeling like I don't have a right to complain. So many people on this planet have it worse than I do... (or better). It can be overwhelming to try and comprehend how many consciousnesses there are in the universe.

    Wednesday, November 17, 2004


    Before I knew there were people like this over there, it didn't seem real to me. Tonight I am going to this talk: “The War in Iraq: the Middle East, Islam, and U.S. Foreign Policy.” I'll let you know how it goes.

    Sunday, November 14, 2004

    analyze this

    Today I went to a thrift store and got a few deals. A pair of Thai-wrap pants for under four dollars; a plaid kilt-like skirt for a couple of bucks; a cool, fashionable purse that is oversized and brand-new; oh and a Beanie Baby Rat named "TipToes". Shopping can be fun. Now, I'm having some Merlot and listening to Madonna's American Life. Last night, I saw the new movie "Ray." Now, I am in love with Ray Charles-- except, he's not alive anymore.

    Wednesday, November 10, 2004

    Holy Moses

    ELTON JOHN LYRICS Border Song Music by Elton JohnLyrics by Bernie Taupin (last verse by Elton John) Holy Moses I have been removed I have seen the spectre he has been here too Distant cousin from down the line Brand of people who ain't my kind Holy Moses I have been removed Holy Moses I have been deceived Now the wind has changed direction and I'll have to leave Won't you please excuse my frankness but it's not my cup of tea Holy Moses I have been deceived I'm going back to the border Where my affairs, my affairs ain't abused I can't take any more bad water I've been poisoned from my head down to my shoes Holy Moses I have been deceived Holy Moses let us live in peace Let us strive to find a way to make all hatred cease There's a man over there what's his colour I don't care He's my brother let us live in peace He's my brother let us live in peace He's my brother let us live in peace


    Jeriah told me about this silliness. It's fun and funny, so I laughed.

    Tuesday, November 09, 2004

    Decisions by Franz Kafka

    "Lifting oneself from a miserable state of mind ought to be easy even by sheer willpower. I wrench myself out of the chair, walk around the table, loosen my head and my neck, drive fire into my eyes, flex the muscles around them. Work against any feelings, exuberantly greet A. if he turns up now, amiably tolerate B. in my room, inhale all of C.'s words in long drafts despite my strain and suffering. But even if I can manage like that, any mistake-- and mistakes are inevitable-- will bring everything, light or heavy, to a halt, and I will have to twist back into my circle again. Hence the best course is to put up with everything, behave like a heavy mass, and even if you feel blasted away, not be inveigled into taking any unnecessary step, gaze at the other with animal eyes, feel no remorse-- in short, push down with your own hands any ghost of life surviving in you, increase, that is, the final gravelike rest and let nothing else exist. A characteristic movement in such a state of mind is to run the little finger over the eyebrows."

    Saturday, November 06, 2004

    it's probably good for you to 'almost die'

    My roommate just got back from a day of surfing near Camel rock. He mentioned that he'd had an encounter with imminent death during his outing. I'd imagine that puts things into perspective a bit. Speaking of encounters with imminent death: I've never admitted to being a smoker. I mean, I'll smoke occasionally, yes. Maybe sometimes even more than 'occasionally,' but I've never been "addicted" to cigarettes. I really haven't. I'm just immune to nicotene addiction, I guess. In college, my professors often say that I need to elaborate more in my essays and papers. They say that I get the main point clearer than most of my classmates, but they feel short-changed somehow. I usually just feel like the fewer words used; the better. I mean, I don't want to bore people or hold them beyond what they desire. Or maybe I do, but it's a sublimated desire. Maybe it's the whole "aloof" control drama thing. My friend Heather calls it 'pith.'

    Wednesday, November 03, 2004

    conservative hegemony?

    If hegemony is the way the ruling class passes off their view of things and enforces it in order to maintain the wealth of those already in control, then I think this term might apply to the United States at present. The people in power have managed to gain as a support group the same people whose wealth they are systematically extracting. The Evangelical Right have been successfully bought off with arguments of morality. Get over your sadness and disappointment and get interested in what can be done.

    Monday, November 01, 2004

    psychological somersaults

    "...Love is scary. We can be hurt; the lover has power over us; we need to be #1 in his/her life. How does someone become so important in our emotional life? In the same way The Little Prince loved his rose bush (Saints-Exupery, 1943). It's a neat part of the story; I'll summarize: The Little Prince lived on a tiny planet all his own. He had only one rose bush. He loved it. It was so beautiful, it gave him so much pleasure. He remembers tenderly planting the little bush in his richest soil, building a fence to protect it and a trellis to hold it, trimming it and watering it every day. With pride he watched his rose bush grow into a healthy, mature rose bush which faithfully produced beautiful blossoms year after year. Then he went to another planet, Earth, and saw thousands of roses, much bigger and more beautiful than his one little bush. At first, he felt foolish for having liked his rose bush so much. After all, there was nothing special about his bush. Then he realized he didn't love his rose bush for its bigness or its outstanding beauty, he loved it because he had personally cared for his bush and because so much of his time and pleasure had been with only one rose bush, "his" roses. Like the Little Prince, we hurt when we lose "our" love. The hurting doesn't necessarily mean we lack confidence or that we believe we possess the other person; it means we are human, we long for things we have lost." Taken from this web article.

    Sunday, October 31, 2004

    Old Witch

    The old, old witch, believe me if you can Tapped on the windows and then ran, ran, ran. She ran helter-skelter, with her toes in the air Cornstalks flying, from her old witches hair. Swish went the broomstick, meow went the cat Plop went the wet toad, Sitting on her hat. Wee chuckled I, what fun, what fun Halloween night, when the witches run !

    Friday, October 29, 2004

    Suddenly Seymour

    This song has been in my head for days. Now, it can be in your head too! Yay! (I'm such a dork).

    Tuesday, October 26, 2004

    This is so cool

    My friend Jeriah gave me one of his paintings! It is a self-portrait of him as Marilyn Manson Here's a pic for scale. I understand that some people might not like it at first, or ever... but I like it for many reasons. It has personal meaning, cuz I know and like the artist. Also, it has meaning as far as the whole Jungian concept of the Shadow.

    Saturday, October 23, 2004

    Don't eat too much candy on All Hallows Eve

    I found this pic online somewhere. It's funny. Music I have been obsessed with lately: Poe Hello (especially track two)

    Tuesday, October 19, 2004

    "we did a glossy lip"

    I love fashion. It's a guilty indulgence of mine, but also my right as a Gemini. My favorite fashion magazine is In Style. One thing I have never been fond of is wearing high-heeled shoes. I love they way they look, but have never been able to get over the pain they inflict on my feet and back or how difficult it is to walk in them. I want a good pair.

    Monday, October 18, 2004

    what i'm looking for

    ode to fall i love fall days that are blustery and gray when a chill is in the air and the wind blows my skirt into plaid billows it smells like october

    Thursday, October 14, 2004

    All Apologies

    "What else could I say? Everyone is gay. What else could I write? I don't have the right." --Nirvana I am forever plagued with the affliction of ennui. My heart is heavy and my burden is not light. It seems like I'm not happy unless there's drama and intensity in my life. And by happy I mean miserable! "Life is what you make it-- and if you make it death well rest your soul" --Mother Love Bone So why Rainbow Brite? I dunno. Just felt like being nostalgic for the '80's when my troubles were less complicated and I could just watch cartoons and be fine. "Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then oh why can't I? Away above the chimney tops where troubles melt like lemon drops..."

    Monday, October 11, 2004

    New York Cat Show

    "Atticus, a nine month old Burmese cat waits to be judged at the Cat Show New York, October 9, 2004..." Photo by Jeff Christensen Thanks, Rob, for sending me this info. He looks a bit peeved, eh? So cute! He must be mine!

    Tuesday, October 05, 2004

    Do you know the history of the Swastika?

    The Swastika was originally a symbol for something good. It is a symbol with a history different than what many people know. Yesterday, I received a package in the mail (from my ex-mother-in-law who loves to browse thrift shops and has a penchant for shopping) which contained many articles of clothing, including a buddhist-type shirt that has swastikas on it, and I wore it to school today. It was fun. I was watching the Vice-Presidential debates, and honestly, I think that Cheney seems smarter and Edwards seems like he's trying too hard.... just my opinion.

    Monday, October 04, 2004


    I have decided to dress up as Scooby Doo's Velma for Halloween! Yay! I'm going to gather together my own costume at thrift shops rather than buy a pre-made costume.

    Saturday, October 02, 2004

    Mt. Saint Helens goes Boom!

    I am glad that the volcano is erupting! It is neato torpedo!

    Thursday, September 30, 2004

    Everybody's Fancy

    I like Mister Rogers. I like this song, too. It's not perverted; you are! On a different subject; The Presidential Debate: lame. My Economic Anthropology teacher says there is no difference between Bush and Kerry, and I tend to agree. They want the same job for basically the same reasons. One thing, though; my Economic Anthropology teacher also says the U.S. is not in Iraq for oil. Hmmm. I wish I were more knowledgable without having to take the time to become as such.

    Tuesday, September 28, 2004

    it's all in there

    Awareness by Anthony DeMello. "People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it." Anthony de Mello

    she sells seasnails by the sea shore

    stream of consciousness: grrrrr. life is annoying sometimes. the mouse on this p.o.s. hsu computer doesn't work right! In my art class right now we are doing ink stipple drawrings. (yes, drawrings. I like to say it that way) i have been having anxiety for about an hour now. it's very frustrating. it's like a feeling of extreme impatience. i like geology and archaeology. i like science.

    Saturday, September 25, 2004

    Time To GEEK OUT!

    I am currently very excited and silly over something really lame! I posted a comment on Wil Wheaton's most recent entry which is about some computer stuff, but my comment was on a side tangent about 'real work'. Basically, I asked him a direct question and he answered me in front of everyone! OMG! I'm so star-struck right now! *beaming* XD For all I know he was completely annoyed by what I said... but who cares. It's still cool.

    Thursday, September 23, 2004

    Khalil Gibran

    "I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance, and affection to be art." "If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work." "The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold." "Where is the justice of political power if it executes the murderer and jails the plunderer, and then itself marches upon neighboring lands, killing thousands and pillaging the very hills?"

    Wednesday, September 22, 2004


    "The girl with the glass-- maybe her thoughts are with somebody else." "Someone in the picture?" "No. More likely a boy she saw somewhere and felt an affinity with." "You mean she'd rather imagine herself relating to an absent person than build relationships with those around her? . . . In fact, she's cowardly. That's why I can't capture her look." If Amelie chooses to live in a dream and remain an introverted young woman she has an absolute right to mess up her life!"

    Tuesday, September 21, 2004

    mawwiage: that bwessed awwangement

    Last night, I watched the making of The Princess Bride instead of studying for my Archaeology exam. I have totally avoided studying for this exam... and I am still avoiding it. I just don't feel very into it, for some reason. Too many distractions. Anyway, The Princess Bride is one of the all-time best movies ever. That's all that matters. I love to watch Behind-the Scenes stuff about movies, too. I got all teary over the making of The Princess Bride. That is funny.

    Monday, September 20, 2004

    Om Mani Padme Hum

    Only at HSU: I arrive at school and find the buddha experiencing enlightenment under a tree. Of course, I had to kill him when I saw him! Here is an alternate way of looking at that saying. Of course, I didn't kill the guy. He's probably still out there. Or maybe not. Is being a buddha equivalent to being in the Hum-bubble? Nah. Can we seek enlightenment? I don't think so. It is not something that can be found.

    Sunday, September 19, 2004

    olive oyl

    Right now I'm watching my roommate Tyler's DVD of Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, with Jack Nicholson and Shelley DuVall. Shelley DuVall just has something about her that I find intriguing. I also loved her in Popeye: The Movie with Robin Williams as Popeye. The song she sings in that movie, He Needs Me is also great.

    Saturday, September 18, 2004

    Have you seen the Cap' ?

    Saw Skycaptain and the World of Tomorrow yesterday. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was like eye-candy and imagination-candy and nostalgia-candy all wrapped into one big swirly lollypop!

    Thursday, September 16, 2004


    I have nothing profound to say. I need some down time. I do not like to be stimulated all the time.

    Wednesday, September 15, 2004

    movin' on up!

    Yesterday I moved, all but one more truckload, into my new place! Yeah baby! I am quite happified. It's really nice to have a big, spacious, airy, bright room after spending my last three months living in what began to feel more and more crypt-like. Now, I have my own bathroom with a shower and everything! Also, I have a separate room which will be an art studio/office. Life is good. My current/old roommates are really quite awesome and I am glad to have had the opportunity to know them. Rob has been extremely helpful to me. Yesterday, he helped me move my bed; and, he is the one who introduced me to Jay-- who let me use his truck yesterday. Wow, that sentence both started and ended with the word yesterday. Rob and I stopped by this place called The Farm which is totally awesome. They grow all these vegetables and flowers and there are shareholders (which Rob is one) who come and help with harvests and then the shareholders get to take home a big box of vegetables and a bouquet of flowers. I helped Rob get his vegetables and I picked the flowers for the bouquet. Tres coolio, no? Mais oui.

    Tuesday, September 14, 2004

    i love music

    I have many theme songs. My little sister thinks of me whenever she hears Story of a Girl; my mom thinks of me whenever she hears The Reason; and I think of myself whenever I hear X Static Process, Why Georgia and Basketcase. for starters. The above picture is of a baby taking a bath with a python. trip out, dude! It is an image that came up when I did a Google image search using the words "theme song"

    Sunday, September 12, 2004

    "hang your hairshirt on the highest rung..."

    I have never actually owned a pair of these boots. I had a pair of docs once, but they were 'mary jane' style. Well, yesterday, I made the move. It was a toss-up between the three colors shown in this pic, but I decided on navy. It's almost black, but a little different. I just don't think I could pull off the cherry ones. You know what's strange? Whenever I see the word 'ones,' I sort of have a weird feeling. I have to re-read it a few times. It's like when you see a handicapped person and you want to stare at them, but you don't cuz it's rude... if that makes any sense. It just seems like 'ones' is paradoxical.

    Anyway, docs are spendy, but.... it is our moral obligation in life to at least once own a pair of the boots; right? Methinks that is the case. That's my justification, anyway.

    carry on.

    Saturday, September 11, 2004


    very quickly i feel that i am becoming 'old'. i've been living in the sheltered little 'humbubble' of arcata and when i come back to the central valley, i see how time is just racing by me. last night, my friend and i took my son to see Alien v. Predator and i couldn't believe how much the town i grew up in has changed! it's nothing like it was when i was one of the remotely cool kids. now i'm just a boring old person. i find myself very surprised at how all the young women are dressed like they are aspiring playboy centerfolds! more and more i am beginning to embrace my inner dork and it makes me want to start to really dress like an old granny!

    woke up with this song in my head

    It's a funny song! I like it. The band is called skankin' pickle. Mainly, the reason the song was in my head was that I "looked in the mirror and saw my hair was everywhere" due to the fact that I went to bed with my hair wet last night, so I had a great new 'do this morning. You know what's cool? How my family doesn't care what my hair looks like. They still love me no matter what! That's a great feeling. Of course, I will fix my hair, cuz it looks really crazy!

    Friday, September 10, 2004


    Like a solid rock is not shaken by the wind, so the wise are not moved by praise or blame. Dhammapada, 81 Why? Because when someone says "You are so wonderful" or "You are so horrible" it only tells you about their state of mind and their opinion of you at the moment which is highly susceptible to change and many other factors. So there is no reason to allow yourself to be constantly swayed by the opinions of others. Such things are not reliable.

    Thursday, September 09, 2004

    i am capable of writing relatively well (or not)

    for some reason it just seems like i never have the time to really write anything anymore. when i read other (more interesting) blogs, i think to myself: i could do that. but, i don't do it. and they do. hmmm. is it just that i'm intimidated by the official seeming blogger template? i don't know. what if i don't look at the screen while i write? what if i were to close my eyes and talk about my day? this morning, when i woke up, i was very irritable. it was cold outside and i wasn't in the mood to exert myself, but i had to because i have to either walk to school or ride my bike. those are my choices. i chose the bike because it is faster, but arcata is full of hills which make biking rather strenuous... especially since i refuse to buy bikes with gears due to a phobia from childhood when all my expensive bikes would get stolen and i would get in trouble for not locking them up. since then, i've opted to never get bikes that ppl would want to steal. plus, there's just something disconcerting to me about bikes with gears. i like old-fashioned, pee-wee herman type bikes. by the time i got to school, i was hot which also makes me grouchy. i am often grouchy. i complain a lot, too. which makes me feel guilty. right before yoga, i felt like i really didn't want to go to yoga today. i thought to myself, i'll just half-arse it today. but, i didn't. in the end, i'm always glad i went to yoga. but then, i feel bad because yoga is all about sort of enjoying the sensation of aliveness and often i do just the opposite of that in my life. (would that be hating the sensation of non-aliveness? no.) so then, my drawing class went on a mini field trip to the arcata plaza... a place famous for pot-smoking homeless crazy hippies. they were pretty distracting to me, but i managed to whip out a couple of decent sketches (see photoblog thumbnails on sidebar) while i was there. i left class early, though, because i lost interest after those two drawings. one thing is that i always like to be 'teacher's pet' but my drawing teacher has this annoying way of making me feel like he doesn't listen to a word i say even though he acts like he is listening. another thing i really don't like is when cars who have the right-of-way at a four-way stop try to be polite and let me (as a pedestrian whom i suppose technically does have the right-of-way) go first. the whole time i just feel like i'd rather let them go and cross without the pressure of them waiting for me to finish! okay, that's enough. see what happens when i actually write?

    Wednesday, September 08, 2004

    ghost world

    I like Enid's style in this movie.

    Wil Wheaton Rules

    If you are at all interested in learning more... go to Wil Wheaton dot net. I have the link on my sidebar.

    Sunday, September 05, 2004

    What Religion are You?

    According to the Belief System Selector, my #1 belief match is Mahayana Buddhism.
    What do you believe?