kind of pathetic, probably

last night my dreams were strange, which is not unusual. i remember trying to compose a poem. a person has to be in a certain state of mind.... perhaps a more receptive state... in order to allow poetry to come to the surface. in me, i guess it is usually subsumed. here is a funny thing that says something about something: the other day, scott said, "do you want to go to the beach after we eat lunch?" we were already out and i realized i didn't have my camera with me. i said, "i want to, but i don't have my camera." why bother doing anything good if i can't document it. i have begun to live in that removed place where i view things through blogging, ultimately. will i blog about it? if i go to the beach without my camera, did it really happen?