sneak a peek

blee blee blah blee blooooo.

twinkly dinkly doooooo.

today is a good day. it has not been the same as yesterday.

zebras, apples, embroidery, paint, books, pizza, shadows, worlds around the sun.

you're doing great!

i worked out again this morning with denise austin. what a great way to start the day! i feel great! my attitude is much more positive. i love how she says things like, "you're doing great! you look good. we're firming up those muscles. we're burning fat! keep it up! you're worth it! you can do it, i know you can!" yeah! PUNCH! KICK!

i feel like i can do stuff today. usually i feel like i'm dragging around a 40 lb weight everywhere i go.

i heard this meowing sound a few minutes ago and i couldn't figure out where the kitten was... i found her outside, climbing the window screen, her hair and tail all puffed out! hehehe. silly kitty.

what is a planet?

"Pluto is now classified as a dwarf planet, a class distict from "planet". While this may be controversial at first ... it is my hope that this ends the essentially empty debate about Pluto's status so that we can get on with the real science of figuring out its physical nature and history."

in news more relevant to my life, i worked out for twenty minutes today and it made me feel much better because i was feeling REALLY down about still looking pregnant after 6 months postpartum. i kickboxed that anger right out of my system. i intend to be in much better shape by the end of this month and then maybe i will no longer be classified as a planet! ;-P

what's the world coming to?

here it is (4:12)

this is embarrassing, but whatever.

beans & franks make me ill

last night i finished a book about a tibetan lama going through torture in a war. i don't remember all the facts. i started reading a different book, now. it's about a lady going to peru and becoming all spiritual and stuff. wine doesn't go well with lemons. friday i get to go to a 2 1/2 hour psychological assessment. 'get to'? you ask... yeah, i'm sick-- i like that kind of stuff. probably because it is all about ME. that's why it interests me. if you don't find me interesting, you aren't paying attention.

young at heart

yesterday afternoon three little kids who live on our street knocked on our door wanting to see our kitten, so i let them in and then i had to find the kitten so i went upstairs and the kids followed me... but the kitten was not upstairs, so then the kids followed me downstairs and i went to look under our bed, which is where the kitten was sleeping. the kids were not shy at all... they made themselves right at home and started climbing on and under our bed trying to get the kitten. the kitten would have none of it and refused to make herself available. so i told the kids to try another day. i secretly thought it was lots of fun and was surprised that scott didn't scold me for being so permissive with them, but i feel like i get along well with kids and so that is why it was cool for me and fun. i am still a kid. but that is dangerous for kids just to go into a stranger's attic. i should've told them that.

are you an addict?

I find the blogger template intimidating and distracting. I don’t know it it’s Blogger’s template, per se… but just I feel like I get writer’s block when I blog and I don’t feel like I’m really expressing myself satisfactorily. I ate too many homemade chocolate chip cookies that scott’s mom gave us. I was self-medicating with food. I sure hope my antidepressant/ anti-anxiety meds kick in soon cuz I be needin’ ‘em. I’ve been depressed pretty much my whole life, well, at least since I was a teenager but probably earlier and mostly not on meds, but when I am on them, I know they help. So take that, tom cruise you scientologist. No that’s not right for me to denigrate another belief system. Well, actually, maybe it can be. Yeah. Take that! Scientology. Now I’m scared. But, besides… it’s either legally prescribed drugs or self-medicating… so… one or the other. I think I am a wine connoisseur, but scott doesn’t think I should drink wine every night. The thing is, I haven’t figured out how to relax on my own-- and we all want to relax, don’t we? I’ve been thinking a lot about watching an exercise video thinking maybe that will at the very least get me inspired to start moving if my double chin isn’t motivation enough!

i am butt-sore

right now would be a good time for me to be doing my exercise videos and blasting away 10 lbs with denise austen. instead i sit here gazing away at the crystal ball that is my comp moniter. and slouching because is chair is the wrong height for this desk. and it hurts my butt bones which are sore from riding the horse yesterday-- being inexperienced i have not yet learned how to bounce on the saddle more gently. ha. that sounds funny. and my thighs are a little bit sore, too. from riding the horse. his name is magic.

the no blog blues

omnamaste: blogging is cool

TheWatchList: blogger/blogspot is down right now... boo

omnamaste: yes. it seems that i am getting a google/server error for all blogspot blogs

omnamaste: which makes surfing difficult

the watchlist: nah, it just makes commenting difficult

the watchlist: makes surfing dull though, and credits wasted... oops

omnamaste: woe is me. i guess i'll read a book

thewatchlist: it's probably for the best, my blog isn't much to look at anyways

omnamaste: mine is COOL ;-)

thewatchlist: it doesn't look all that exciting to me...

thewatchlistlol

thewatchlist lousy blogspot

omnamaste i am age 30-50

thewatchlist I am age not there yet

thewatchlist but soon approaching

omnamaste don't you think 30-50 is a rather wide range?

thewatchlist nah, places care about teens, they care about 20 somthings, then it is seniors, then it is everyone not in those groups

omnamaste i sort of crave mustard right now. must go eat.

thewatchlist should probably put that mustard on something... I don't know how good it is all by it's lonesome

omnamaste ooh i was just able to look at my blog

be creative. create!

i sewed a curtain for our livingroom using an antique sewing machine and thrift store material. i did a very sloppy job because i was impatient for my quick result. it looks fine anyway-- better than just throwing a piece of unsewn material up there. and i feel a sense of accomplishment and creativity.

i bought 6 exercise videos last week and i am in no better shape than i was before i bought the videos. i guess i have to play them and work out to them first. pshh.

i also began painting a picture of myself riding a horse.

thank you baby jesus

i've been working on gathering things of mine to give to the thrift store so i don't have so much junk and scott so won't be mad about that anymore. i found a bunch of clothes i didn't want anymore and i washed them and hung them to dry when i realized that i might not really want to get rid of them afterall! but i think i still will. it's just not easy for me.

last night we saw talladega nights with will ferrell and it was FUN-NY! lots of great one-liners. i loved the stuff about baby jesus. that was my fave.

i am hoping i get to go horsebackriding today.

when i was one i ate a bun

a drive in the forest (00:33)

and i am singing a song called 'going over the sea'



last night i made meatloaf for dinner and it actually turned out to be edible, which was a plus. this morning i made bacon and scrambled eggs. it was a salty breakfast. i was gonna put some of my homemade salsa in the eggs, but i couldn't find it and i was about to accuse scott of throwing it away when i remembered that i ate it all mixed with black beans and corn and crunched up tortilla chips.

life gets on my nerves

i am a nervous wreck 95% of the time. it seems like i can't do anything right. i get overly excited about most everything and have inappropriate facial expressions and tones of voice. so i guess i'll just go to the thrift store and get my buck-a-bag of stuff because i am addicted to shopping even though i really ought to open my own thrift store because i already have too much junk as it is. scott wants me to donate stuff to the thrift store but i am having trouble letting anything go. i really am.

the rumor mill

everyone is apparently spying on everyone else in this town; and, even if you do nothing but sit around in your house, people are going to start saying things about you... it can't be helped. a lot of people around here have nothing better to do than to make up stories about everyone else. they need to make better use of their time. i agree with the philosophy that no matter what anyone says about you, no matter how outlandish, just know that they have no real basis for what they are saying and it's really not their business, now is it? also, it's just too mentally exhausting to be constantly worrying about what other people think or say about you. it's like balancing plates... eventually some are bound to fall.

that's swell

when you go to the doctor's office and they have you fill out that form with your family history and what your allergies are and if you've ever been hospitalized or what meds you are taking-- why is it that the doctor asks you all these questions AGAIN when they come in to see you? can't they read what is on the form? it's frustrating.
in other news, my entire body is sore as though i'd been working out, but i have not. however, i DID buy three exercise videos today at the thrift store's buck-a-bag sale. i bought two bags of junk and it was FUN. i intend to go back and do it again tomorrow. i bought this one old lady swimsuit and the bottoms look HUGE but when i put them on, they seem to fit me. i imagine they would fall off, though, if i went swimming in them... but it is very 'shallow hal' because i could swear i'm not THAT huge! i only weigh ten pounds more than before i was pregnant. but i'm out of shape. i intend to remedy that situation.

no perma-wedgies for me

hi. i do not wear thong underwear or g-strings because i do not like the feeling of something crawling up my butt all day long! do you? it's gross. and i don't go commando because that's dirty, too. but i remember when i worked at the bank (i was in banking for 7 yrs, *gag*) i would sometimes wear thongs because i didn't want a pantyline and one time i was squatting down and this woman Carol covered up my butt with a paper because my thong was majorly showing. how tacky. that's what i think about it. TACK-Y. one time, when i was going to a community college, this stupid whore (i'm sorry) had her g-string showing and i tapped her on the shoulder and whispered that her underwear were showing! HA! what a dork am i? (OW! my kitten has Sharp m-f'n claws! ) i believe in imagination. i think it is important. i think we all live in imaginary worlds. i also am a person who really needs to express herself! i need time to just BE myself. whatever that is.

pay attention!

my mouth is burning because of that salsa i made.

i feel like lying on the sofa and reading a book.

the thrift store is having "buck-a-bag" this week! i am happy about that!

last night we watched the ice harvest with john cusack. i love him.

it's cool and the ointment's sweet

i never have anything to wear, i swear.
but my closet is overflowing with ugly clothes that don't fit me and that i hate.
i want to get rid of it all but i can't because i always think "what if this goes into mad style two days after i get rid of it?"
that happens, you know.
i'm always so hungry and i'm so out of shape.
nobody seems to understand why i don't have time to do anything.
our new kitten is very pretty but very kittenish which can at times be annoying like when she has kitty ADD and has to attack everything and climbs up your leg, etcetera.
i want to paint, do the dishes, sew, cook and lots more... but i seriously never have the time.

only on thursdays

okay, today, we really did get a new kitten. she is a calico named whiskers. she's a baby who was just weaned but she knows how to use a litterbox and she is very playful. the people who live across the street gave her to us. the lady didn't want to give her up because it made her want to cry, but they have too many kitties... so.
apple scented nair smells nothing like apples and everything like a home permanent.
my dress turned out not to fit right. my mom is gonna take it back and maybe get me one of the other ones i liked. i also intend to make myself a dress very soon. i'm going to make it out of an old halter/tank top and a curtain valance.

why dont you marry your face?

the mall was so crowded it made me feel like it was overrun with cockroaches or some form of insect invasion... but the insects were humans, fashionably dressed. i am unused to seeing hordes of fashionably dressed people. the towns in which i've been living for the past few years are not very hip to fashion trends. there is much less novelty to cute clothes when everyone and their mother is wearing them. it was a hot, sweaty, hectic, exhausting type day, but i survived it and my mom bought me a new dress. i love the new dresses that are out in stores that look like old lady housedresses from the nineteen-fifties. we took sophie to have her portrait taken and the photographer was REALLY good at making her laugh. it was SO cute!

around and round the mulberry bush

ppl in my life think it is stupid and a waste of time for me to always take photos as much as i do. why? isn't it a legitimate interest? i know that i have an artistic eye. why can't people be supportive and take me seriously as a photographer? i think a lot of people think that being creative is just a "waste of time" and also they think the same thing about 'having fun.' i take great pleasure in taking photos. what's the waste of time in that?

i'm so put upon

my brain doesn't seem to work anymore. i forget everything and it is difficult for me to think clearly at all. i get overwhelmed by things that should be considered simple, everyday affairs. it is annoying. i have often wondered how it is that stupid people seem to function at all in the world? how the hell do they do it? sometimes it seems like stupid people are even BETTER OFF than smart people (i.e., me) heheheh.
i am the absent-minded professor.
it is really cool that i have been dreaming more lately. i don't really remember every detail but i know that last night i dreamed about my friend heather's wedding and everyone was supposed to wear "jams" you know, those gay shorts from the mid-'80's. but i didn't have any and so i decided to just sneak away and go spend the night in some barn. what?

let's roll from here

at the thrift store today i got two homemade sundresses one red one blue and they are old-fashioned looking. each for a dollar. i also got some material (they have tons) with little zebras on it and some other really cute material. i have a shirt that is really cute and i want to copy it and make another one.
my salsa turned out pretty darn good. it's not too spicy but it does burn your mouth a little. it's afterburner salsa.

suzy homemaker

today i made cranberry orange bread in the breadmaker. i was impatient and didnt really cook it completely all the way, but it was extra moist because of that and really it was still good. the mix was from trader joes so you cant go wrong, eh?
i also made chicken and rice with some of that 20 lbs of chicken we got from commodities. we gave half of it to scott's mom cuz they have foster kids and they are hungry growing teenagers. this time i actually had all of the ingredients so it turned out right. since i also have a ton more chicken i am going to have to make more stuff like chicken & noodles and/or chicken & dumplings because i am suzy homemaker.

at the drop of a hat

right now i am making scrumptious salsa and it is going to take three hours and it is going to be better than maisy's salsa and i will give her some in the container that she gave salsa to me in and she will be all offended and hate me which she already does i am sure because she heard me yelling at scott and now she knows that i am insane because i haven't had any of my prozac since we moved here. i cry if someone changes plans without consulting me first-- i.e., at the drop of a hat.

uh-oh

let's see .... what all went wrong today?
1. everytime we go to susanville it costs about a hundred bucks and three hours of stress.
2. sophie decided to celebrate her five month birthday by not napping longer than 20 minutes at any one time today.
3. a bucket of paint spring green paint i'd left on the washing maching was accidentally knocked over and ran down the sides of the machine and all over the new linoleum. we got it all cleaned up but the paint was wasted and a few old towels and i started crying because the dishes weren't done and i still needed to cook dinner and i can never go horseback-riding because there's too much to do and sophie has separation anxiety if i ever put her down blah blah blah blah blaahhhhhhh.

ain't life grand?

i need like 800,000 anti-anxiety pills or something, man! i think that because in this day and age, humans actually have it so easy compared to like back in the pioneer days or whatever that NOW, we can't even handle the most minor inconvenience or it feels like we are going to DIE. at least, that is how it seems for me. really, my life isn't that hard at all. but i get stressed out SO EASY! just having people get in my way or having to wait in a line longer than two seconds makes me want to rip my hair out or start mowing ppl down with a machete or something. GAH! whew. okay, i will breathe now. i think i will go for a walk down to the thrift store... although, i have no money so that is likely to end up being stressful, too.

see ya next fall!

kitten attacks elmo

today we went to lake almanor and i was walking around on some rocks with some wobbly sandals and i took a nasty spill and went somersaulting through the air. i landed on my upper back and mostly on the side of my knee. but at least my camera didn't get broken!

fraidy cat

i can never get ponytail holders to be the right tightness for me. they are either too loose and all my hair falls out and makes me look like a harried housewife or too tight and it pulls all the hair out of my head.
scott's mom works at the library here in town and they recently discarded a bunch of books and i got to take all the ones i wanted for free! that was fun. i need to add them to my library thing.
i am in a "lack of time" rut. i feel like i never have time to do anything!
there are like twelve feral kittens that live under the empty house across the street and i want to get one but they are way too scared. big ole fraidy cats.
i like the smell of original desitin better than the new creamy version. that's cuz i am strange.

you can't park that tank here

why does life have to be difficult? oh whatever. i'm sure i already know the answer to that, so nevermind. it doesn't matter anyway. sometimes i wish i could drink a gallon of vodka but, that really would not make anything better and i know it. i don't think it's helpful to drink when you are unhappy. it doesn't solve anything.
i'm watching a show that is kind of interesting. it's called 'one week to save your marriage'. relationships take work. blergh.. and if you dn't work on them, then they work on YOU. but isolating yourself isn't the answer. it's just a copout.

sleep delays my life

right now i am really sleepy but i wish i had more time because there are so many things i would like to do but mostly right now i am about to fall asleep.
i wish i could do whatever i want whenever i want. but i can't.

where is my drink?

this is just so wrong! after we called tech support and had them walk us through the rebooting of the modem and attempting of the passwords TWENTY times the guy comes to our house DOES THE EXACT SAME THING we did and for him-- it works! but whatever. now we have internet. it just chaps my hide that i had to wait so long!!! isn't it ironic? actually, no, it probably isn't. or maybe it is. i don't know irony.
last night i watched adult swim and there are some trippy cartoons on there! moral orel, tom goes to the mayor, 12oz mouse.... crazy stuff, i tell ya.

two irishmen walk out of a bar

we got our modem today, but the installation password won't work so we still have to wait until MONDAY to get our internet to work. at least we got cable today. sheesh! meanwhile, i've been painting away and watching rushmore repeatedly but not really paying attention to it which is why i can keep watching it again and again. our house must have been built on like the biggest anthill of all time because there are ants all over the place in our house... even where there's nothing FOR them, like just on brand new carpet for no reason, or on the tile in the bathroom. what is their freaking problem?

point of view

pepper the cat is actually named lily and she belongs to the little girl two houses down from us. i had a feeling she was owned by a little girl. the cat just gave off that vibe. oh well. maybe she will be a cat with two homes and we won't have to be the ones who pay to get her fixed.
wanna hear something depressing? mazie, our little old lady next-door-neighbor, offered to give me a pair of her pants that are a little too small and she suggested that she and i are about the same size! just the idea makes me feel like a huge frumpy hausfrau! but whatever. i won't let it get me down! only for a few minutes, anyway. besides, everything depends on how you look at it.

waah waah waah

these f-ing gaylords across the street have some sort of little go-cart motorcar things and all they do is wait until 830 at night and then they just sit in one place revving the engine for all eternity & to no avail. additionally, there's some other dildo-head who continually tries to start the engine on his car-- but the ignition won't ignite and then he seems 2B in denial of that fact. and some other dood keeps riding his ATV in the alley when there are TONs of other more suitable places to do such a thing. what a buncha lame-os.
i can't wait until i have internet at my house. this BITES! i can barely post at all! posting really takes a lot of time!!!! when i sit down to post here at scott's parents house, sophie just whines the entire time in the background which makes me feel REALLY rushed and unable to concentrate and nobody else can take care of her as well as i can which can sometimes be annoying/frustrating. okay, bye!!!!!
p.s. i hope we get our modem in the mail today or at least by saturday or i will cry.
also, a new kitty cat adopted us. her name is peppercorn. pepper for short. she is so cute and sweet and friendly.

it's a blog life

our old lady neighbor, mazie, gave us some homemade salsa and it was really one of the best salsas i have ever tasted in my life!!!!! mmmmmmmmmmm. yummy.
the thrift store in this town is only open Wed-Sat! but that is probably a good thing. it will limit my ability to shop there too much.
last night we watched V for Vendetta. it was pretty obvious as far as the political statement it was trying to make but it was interesting anyway. i liked that dude's mask. i like natalie portman's eyebrows how they are straight and pointy.
pretty much everything is within walking distance of my house. the library, the grocery store. the restaurants, etc. the old mill cafe has WONDERFUL biscuits and gravy! i LOVE it. i'll have to watch out about that addiction. they have a breakfast sandwich there called the "mill muff" HA.

i am forgetful

our sofa is emerald green velvet. pretty cool, eh? i think so. i am painting the door jambs skin color. really. the color totally matches my skin. i got the can for five bucks and it is so gratifying to paint walls. i love the feeling. it's like doing magic. it changes the way the room feels so much. in eleanor rigby, jeremy says that houses are living things and the walls should be painted all the time... colors changing... and that is true. plus, all white walls is 'bad feng shui' and stuff.

you might be a redneck

we were at this used furniture store and the lady said about the sale stuff, "you can see if you can Jew him down. Jew him. he likes to Jew." i wanted to tell her "excuse me, but i am jewish and i take offense to that RACIAL SLUR, but i figured that she doesn't even realize what she is saying because older generations didn't know that was insulting. but it's not appropriate.
p.s. that dog was playing with a porcupine. woopsie. poor doggie. but that's what ya get! porcupines are badass!

where o where

it is just impossible to blog in any sort of respectable fashion if you don't have a computer at home. at least for me, it is. we have been driving around town getting free stuff. it is fun. last night i stayed up really late cuz it's the only time i have to do what i want to do. sophie and moving are keeping me really busy. anyway, gotta run!

deprived child

today the internet ppl came and hooked up our modem but due to miscommunication we have the wrong modem and won't be getting the right one until the end of next week. i had a moment where i was having trouble accepting this limitation on my blogging life but i've come to terms with it. the library is only around the corner and i have access to scott's parents' computer also. plus i have lots of junk to do besides blogging. what did i ever do before blogging became so important to me. i feel like i lost a limb. i have blogsickness. but nobody feels bad for me so my misery has little company.

but my lips hurt real bad

have i mentioned that my lips have been so chapped the past few days that if i smile they crack open and bleed. i've been using chapstick.

things i have to say

1. i love the surreal camera angles in death race 2000
2. d. caradeen's bondage outfit
3. sparkly fiberglass bumper cars of death
4. you get points for offing ppl
5. euthenasia day at the geriatric center?
6. the love scene where he says "wait a minute and i'll show you" and the scene fades out. HA-larious.
7. the fight scenes are like really realistic
8. girl in gold lame jumpsuit with cameltoe
9. REALLY great acting and line delivery!!!
10. "scoring isn't killing, it's part of the race"
11. "get back there and retard the spark" best phrase ever.
12. the manic announcer dude and his high fashion outfits of the future.
did you know that you can make pizzas in the oven using flour tortillas as the crust? they are really good! try it.
my knees have been hurting lately. i think i am getting arthur-itis.

death race 2000

we watched death race 2000 last night! it was really a trip and you really really should see it. all the women look like porn stars from the seventies. there are boobies and naked chicks and fast cars that gore ppl for points. sly stallone and david caradeen are in it. it's great! i have to watch it again. i wrote down tuns of stuff about it but i forgot the paper at home. i have to use scott's parents' computer until friday.

everything changes

our house is coming together. i like it a lot. there are moldings on all the doors and windows and walls and even on the ceilings. there is an attic which is totally cool. the kitties have been living up there for a couple of days.
i'm going to have a BLT right now. yum yum yum. i'm so hungry. i feel like i haven't been eating much but saltines for the past week. last night we did have meatloaf. that was goooooooood. i love meatloaf.
in this town there is nothing for the teenagers to do but walk back and forth up and down the streets. exciting stuff eh? i kept seeing the same ppl walking by over and over. our nayburr is not any crazier than the average joe. but crazy is interesting in any case.