when i'm well

we had some canned salmon & i had a mind to preserve what's in the freezer to delay another trip to the store so i thought-- i should make salmon cakes/patties. scott is a picky eater, but he liked them & i think most people actually do.
they are way better for you than hamburgers cuz the fat is better. anyway, they're good AND good for you so eat some today!
i think they'd be best with a nice salad but we had 'em w/ mac-n-cheese + i had some peas. scott doesn't 'waste' much room in his stomach for non-meat items, most of the time. ;-P

the even couple

yesterday our bathtub pipes were frozen so i had to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. it's been a long time since i did that. i used to do it all the time when i was a kid cuz my mom used to, too. i guess it had something to do with not wanting to go to bed with wet hair so taking a shower at night but not washing the hair until the morning? i have no idea.

last night i watched this tribute to james taylor on pbs. it was awesome. i cried a few times. um, yeah, keith urban is hot.

all my leg and butt muscles were super sore yesterday which made it hard to move around without grunting & groaning like your grandma. but it feels really good also, cuz i know that my workout worked. anyway--so, then i would explain to people why i was grunting when i moved by saying, "i'm sore from working out" and nobody cared at all. nobody had even the slightest bit of sympathy, concern or interest in what i was saying... which is as usual. they just take it as me complaining. how about i was just thinking that maybe someone might wonder what was wrong with me? but no. nobody even pays any attention to me. i must be the most uninteresting person on earth.

i feel like i'm starving to death

last night i watched tom waits perform on the daily show. it was awesome.

it's just for fun

i love that show on fitTV Namaste Yoga! i wish they'd have a marathon of that. if i had tivo, i'd tivo it or something. it's so great & puts me in the best state of mind, but not when scott's dad comes in while i'm doing yoga in the livingroom.

i've been having fun updating my wishlist.

infantile urges

I snuck into this bar at the bowling alley when nobody seemed to be in there, and snapped a few fotos surreptitiously. I felt very sneaky and like a detective, like I could’ve been confronted at any moment.
Does the dog whisperer think he is a dog? He thinks he knows everything about dogs, apparently; also, he thinks he is one.

I like to wear scarves because it feels like I am cozied up in a blanket, but I’m not too warm, either… which is how I usually feel in sweaters. I’m hot-blooded.

I’m baking a pumpkin pie for scott because he seems to really enjoy it. He was warning me not to let it get overcooked, cuz sometimes when I am on the computer stuff like that has been known to happen. So I just went to check the pie and it is still liquidy. Obviously not burnt, yet.

wear underwear

I HAVE exercised two mornings in a row now, using FitTV. So that’s good. And I intend to be more careful about what I eat and try to work out every morning and have my metabolism up come Christmas.

taco bell sauce makes pretty much anything taste like taco bell. Have you tried it on stuff at home? It’s a kind of magic, in a way.

all these girls (Britney, paris, lohan) flashing their shaved vaginas to the paparazzi, and therefore the world, have serious serious issues, I would think.

it's really pathetic

i am an angry person.
so if i don't seem that way to you, then you're under a false impression.
hey, and guess what? it's not paranoia to think that everything you do and say? there's a record of it somewhere, somehow. watching wife swap tonight must have made me think of that. it was a lot about privacy and freedom. what happens when there's too much? not enough? even having a 'private' blog could be seen as suspect in this day and age. everything has to be public. but then stuff goes underground, right?
whatever... it's just a cycle.
i'm tired from thinking too much.

i will paint

looks can be deceiving

i DID work out to quite a few shows this morning. this one workout leader chick is really annoying and i'm like, if THAT annoying girl can have a hot body, then so can i.
in fact, i am not going to let her have a hotter body than me.
hot-looking bodies can be very misleading as can most appearances, i think.

it's genetic

i feel so incapable of living life. i really do.
how do people do it?
it's like there is just something innately wrong with me.
i don't do the things i should.
i've no motivation, no self-discipline.
i feel like crap most of the time.
what good is it going to do to say it again?
sorry for being bummed.
sorry for being a debbie downer.
i can't escape myself and my responsibilities, even if i fail miserably at fulfilling them.

i'll brainwash myself

i've just figured out that if i keep the television on FitTV that i will be more in the mindset of being in-shape. because watching foodtv and top chef are not helping.
scott doesn't object because it's almost like having soft-core porn going 24/7 with the girls wearing their underwear and dancing around, spreading their legs etcetera...
right?
but it is motivating.

bah! humbug!

here's the newest owl i made.
we probably are not going to have a christmas tree.
scott doesn't care about christmas trees.
i guess i will have to make one out of felt if i want one.
or something.
cuz he's not for 'em, he's agin 'em.
okay?
okay.
maybe i'll make wreaths or garlands or something?
or nothing.
either way.

there IS a point

i've been on the verge of exercising for months, now.
i now own an entire library of various exercise DVDs, videos, contraptions, whathaveyou.
today, i took some sort of gensing b12 complex that's sposeta give you energy.
my sleep is frequently interrupted
and i have anxiety.
i'm starting on a new owl painting.
it's a red theme so far.

let's go upstairs

today we had gryos for lunch. mmmmmm. however i did not take a picture of the gyros. this is lunch from yesterday. healthy, i know. but soooo good. making me hungry right now. a lot of t.v. shows that seem to do well with the american public are ones that are so incredibly annoying and fake but "real" that we find them abhorringly fascinating. like Beauty and the Geek? i mean, how formulaic can you get? and, yet, it is SO bad that it's sort of actually good. also, this is true of America's Next Top Model and Pimp My Ride International. we are entertained by train wrecks. my mom gave me this David Lance Goines poster book

cowboy boots on me = can't be taken seriously

today we went to see Borat and it was pretty good but i guess they cut a lot of stuff out that is not in the movie but can be seen on youtube? there was some pretty gross stuff in that movie. i was screaming at some points, but i covered my mouth to muffle the sound. it was embarrassing. i wonder if people thought i was retarded. i think that when people see me wearing my cowboy boots they secretly think to themselves that i am retarded. seriously, when we walked into scott's uncle's house yesterday, his uncle looked straight at my cowboy boots and dismissed me as unimportant immediately.

oh, and right before the movie there was some skinny girl and i started thinking that scott thinks she is hotter than me and i got all mad at him and he had to deal with my girl-mind insanity until i realized that i was being silly, AGAIN. but really, sometimes i feel so disproportionately huge and i think that i have body dysmorphic disorder.

people are strange

i have often had difficulty understanding why we subject ourselves to holiday family gatherings. nobody wants to be there, there is always this huge undercurrent of hatred and anger involved... so why do we do it? why do we go through this huge effort of making a show of brotherly love just so we can go home and talk shit about everyone as soon as we leave? i guess people WANT to be more loving than they actually feel? i don't know. we live in fantasy worlds. it just seems so uncomfortable and unnecessary. why not just stay home and enjoy a cozy little meal instead of making a big production for people we can't wait until they leave?
yesterday, we stopped by some of scott's relatives just to show off the baby. we didn't want to go, but felt obligated and then when we got there we felt like we were imposing and causing a major inconvenience. the host (scott's uncle) and his daughter seemed to be downright rude to us. maybe they were offended that we only made a brief appearance, but we must follow the dictates of our tyrannical little baby, so what can we do? anyway, she also makes a good excuse for a quick getaway.

happy thanksgiving

i'm addicted to the internet

yesterday we went to the taco trucks, it's this place in a really poor part of town where people are constantly panhandling... like we were hit up probably 12 times while we were there and we didn't even eat there, we just got our food and left because we got into an argument over the panhandlers. it doesn't bother me at all that they ask for money, except it makes me feel guilty and then i am a sucker and i give them change if i have it. pretty gullible of me, i know. anyway, this one baglady came up and asked scott for money and he was like, "no" and then i piped up with a "yes" and gave her like 60 cents and scott felt like i had made a fool out of him and he got all snarly with me and then i was offended and called him a greedy bastard among other things and it was a terrible scene and even as we were getting in the car to leave people would still ask us for money and they DO ask the other person even if one person says no. anyway, after i had calmed down, i realized that i was being extremely childish as is often the case.

i like to think that i am being generous and helping the least of my brethren... but maybe it isn't helping them at all. i don't know. maybe it's superstitious of me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

riding horses

today i went horsebackriding and it was a nice cold day and it was fun but the horse should go faster without it hurting my buttbones.

it's hard to keep a steady hand

the background is a pattern from a jeremy scott dress from his food fight collection. awesome stuff!
but, yeah, i had to take like 10 pics of that button before one came out clear like that.

what i made for dinner

i am not afraid to try new recipes.
that is what i usually do.
i think it is fun to make things i've never made before and see how they turn out.
i call them my experimental dishes.
who knows, i might come across something that could become a new 'old standby'?
anyways, tonight i made lamb curry with apples and couscous. it was really good. and easy. i will make it again.

i am NOT switching this blog to the beta until they force me

i used to have all the strawberry shortcake dolls and paraphanelia back in the day. i love the originals. the new ones are not as good. i don't HATe them, but i want the old ones for nostalgia purposes.

i know i was going to say something important! oh YEAH, i had interesting dreams last night. this has been going on for about a w3ek or so. last night it was some sort of contest where you got to spend a certain amount of time collecting all the items you wanted at some sort of shopping extravaganza festival and if you made it back to the "place" on time you got to keep all the stuff. so the hard part about it was deciding rather quickly what your priorities are. i started trying to think of things i could get for christmas presents. a lot of scarves. but it was fun. i love when i have shopping dreams.

owl painting

i like david bowie as an actor

we saw the prestige and it was good. i especially liked that david bowie was in it. i also like cockney accents. also i like michael caine a lot.

wanna see?

this is a screenshot of my trendmill gallery.
it's the stuff i have made.

invitation

not sleeping

drinking too much wine is stupid. i basically drank a whole bottle last night and that was not necessary. i thought that i was 'treating myself'. yeah... treating myself to feeling stupid! i didn't get sick; no. it's just dumb. what's the point? it isn't good for your body, just like any overindulgence.

at 2AM there was a loud bang that came from the woodburning stove, probably just from it getting too hot or something. it sounded like someone slamming a door really loud. i lie awake for about a half-hour trying to figure out what that noise was until it happened again just now. so now, i'm awake and there's a rumbly in my tumbly.

country mouse

tonight we are going to go see The Prestige. the movie theater here HARDLY EVER has decent movies to watch. otherwise i'd have gone to see quite a few flicks, but they never came here. it's cuz all that lives around here are a bunch of backward redneck hillbillies. okay, i'm not sure how accurate that statement is... but let it suffice to say this is not a haven of social sophistication... which isn't necessarily all bad because i really am not attracted to the idea of living in big cities... but small towns also have their drawbacks.

necrotic feet

i liked how on america's next top model last night they let the girls just go OFF with their craziness & anger. Scott was like, "SHUT UP!" but i was like, "Yeah! tell it like it is!" a little scary, tho, cuz what if the judges use it against you, like, that girl is CRAZY!"

the twins seem the most real & normal to me. also, i feel like i've seen them before. it seems like they can get away with anything. i REALLY wish Tyra wouldn't always have to say "6 girls stand before me... blah blah blah... The next name i am going to call is...." she is SO annoying. SHUT UP tyra! you are so boring.
also, there was a Top Chef marathon on bravo which was totally fun! i like michael the best maybe because he is from stockton and i lived there once. i don't know. he's just not as pretentious as some of the people. i tend to root for underdogs.

why does Marcel have to look like a wolverine?

i still need to wash my hair. today i am going to get some new canvasses and i already know what i am going to paint.

can't even crack a smile?

whenever i go to the grocery store here in town, there is this one lady who works there who just can't bring herself to be in any way friendly to me at all. it is very annoying. and she always looks me over like she is thinking something about my clothes but who knows what. i know she recognizes me just from helping me quite a few times so what is her stinkin' problem? i feel like she is judging me.

in other news, i need to wash my hair.

artsy fartsy

my trendmill account wherein i will attempt to sell the stuff i make/art and become FILTHY STINKING RICH!

**i guess you have to be a member to see my stuff so here: why don't you join?

only on rare occasions

even tho i napped for a total of 4 hrs yesterday, i still slept all night and i slept well, to boot.
i know it is fattening but we are having biscuits and gravy for breakfast and i don't care.
now i'm going to have some coffee....

last night there were no real-life murder mysteries on TV! i thought those were always on at least ONE channel! so i watched Roseanne Barr on Larry King.

someone is 6 bucks richer and it ain't me

i wanted to go check the mail and buy some pepsi so i got $6 out of scott's wallet and put it in my pocket, walked to the post office and to the store. when i got to the checkout i couldn't find my money! it was GONE! i was SO MAD! it just disappeared and so now i guess someone else found it because i retraced my steps and it was nowhere to be found! ARGH! took me like a half hour to get over that crap!

it's been snowing

there is a tendency for me to lean toward negative thoughts.
i'm no pollyanna.
but i try to suppress my negative thoughts
which causes me to build up tension
because i am always trying to "be good"
and not get in trouble.
i'm too afraid that i will embarrass myself
or that people won't like me.
or they'll get mad at me.

and they say that people will like you the most if you let them talk about themselves all the time. that's when they will think you are the most clever, interesting person... right? but, you can't just sit there like a lump. you have to mirror themselves back to them?

it seems like i can really never fully grasp the concept of social behavior.

no need to suppress your appetite

i slept a lot today. i had a feeling of whiplash, which may have contributed to my sleepiness?
guacamole flavored tortilla chips dipped in plain yogurt is a great snack! it's sorta healty, i think.

who the hell is janell?

we watched hard candy and everything the critics say about it is true. good and bad. so much of the story makes absolutely no sense, but the acting is great, the movie is gripping and the premise is good. i give it a thumb up and scott gives it a thumb down.

when i took that picture it wasn't meant to be pervy! but it suits the subject of the post, i guess. it's just a doll.

i lost my screws

it is snowing today and we needed some more kindling so scott was gonna go split some up and i got jealous that he was gonna go have more fun than me so i wanted to try it instead. i went outside and decided to jump on a piece of wood to try and break it but my boots and the wood were slippery and so i went flying and landed with all of my weight right on my heart. ugh. and i peed my pants. so i wasn't jealous of his job anymore. that sucked.

disney moose

We were driving home and there is this hiway or whatever on the way to our house and apparently it is some sort of post-halloween tradition to put your jack-o’lantern along this hiway and so it was really cool cuz there are all these Halloween pumpkins greeting you along the side of the road …but who knows? Maybe they were actually put there by Bigfoot and his familia?

funniest video ever and i made it. (00:14)

accentuate the positive

we were going to go bowling at the bowling alley in chester, a town which is 13 miles from here... but when we got in there i didn't want to bowl because it was really small with what seemed to be short lanes and it had no character at all. so we left.

then we went to the thrift store in chester and it was too crowded and all the clothes are jammed together on the racks and the aisles are too small and i started to get all static-clingy like my hair was full of it and i just wanted to get the heck out of there, plus their dressing room mirror made me look like two ton tessie. DUMB!

here is one positive thing i will say: i love the smell of thymes eucalyptus, so you can buy me that if you want.