it's been snowing

there is a tendency for me to lean toward negative thoughts.
i'm no pollyanna.
but i try to suppress my negative thoughts
which causes me to build up tension
because i am always trying to "be good"
and not get in trouble.
i'm too afraid that i will embarrass myself
or that people won't like me.
or they'll get mad at me.

and they say that people will like you the most if you let them talk about themselves all the time. that's when they will think you are the most clever, interesting person... right? but, you can't just sit there like a lump. you have to mirror themselves back to them?

it seems like i can really never fully grasp the concept of social behavior.