be present.

why be present in this moment? what does that mean? is it possible to do anything else?
apparently it is because we are all doing it all the time.
doing what?
living in fantasy worlds, i guess.
i try to use my blog to be present... or to somehow get in touch with myself. but am i really just using my blog to create an artificial presence? an image of myself. yes.
an image of an idealized type of self.
to me it seems like i must constantly endeavor to pay attention. even if that is what i am totally trying to do... sometimes i forget even then.
i notice myself feeling irritated, annoyed, agitated, bored, restless, and it seems like i continually have to notice this about myself. then i try to figure out what to do about it? is recognition enough? can i do anything to change it? it feels like i'm constantly trying.