more of my mental crap

a new day has begun.
how will i start this day?
i should eat fruit.
i only need to lose ten more pounds to be back at my pre-pregnancy weight. that weight seems to be mostly in my belly and under my chin. it makes it hard to find pants that fit because they will fit me fine everywhere except then my belly sticks out over the edge and makes me look like i have a huge gut.

and it shouldn't matter. if you go by the book i have been reading (the beauty myth) weight is not associated inherently with beauty or sexiness. that is a cultural construct. it is not a universal truth. but that book makes me get really paranoid all the time that men are constantly trying to keep me in my place as a slave/second-class citizen and my poor boyfriend can't take it anymore!!!!




here is a fake smile for you.