don't harsh my mellow, man

i like to wear my hair up because i love the way it feels on top of my head. i do not like the way it makes me feel vulnerable, however. bearing myneck as it does. then i feel self-conscious. especially now with the double chin i have inherited. i need to hold my head up. it’s a habitual posture fur me to tuck my chin under or whatever.

i’ve been thinking about how there is energy and it can be manipulated. people create energy. i can manipulate the energy. mine. other peoples’. we all do it. we are social creatures in that sense that we have evolved to be very tuned in to eachother and it’s part of our being even from birth. our brains are born already starting to be very fine-tuned to faces and it is a survival issue.

but somemtimes i am lazy and forget that i have so much power in that sense. i can create my day and manipulate my energy and there are so many possibilities for what i can do but we get stuck in ruts. like, i could take my laptop outside and create a little shady picnicky blanketed area for the baby and me instead of just “doing what i always do” the unexpected. y’know? habit energy. that too is a survival mechanism. infants love routine. humans must love it too.

too much routine and not enough creative thinking. i have ALWAYS been waylaid by the dilemma between thought versus action. you can imagine all sorts of possibilities for your day... but what about follow thru?