the great conjunction

Today, I saw my grandpa for the first time in a while.... for the first time since his wife (my step-grandma) passed away. Initially, it was quite a shock and I am embarrassed that I immediately started crying. I gave him a hug. I was able to compose myself pretty quickly. I didn't mean to upset him, I just couldn't help it. The grandpa that lay there on the bed didn't match up to the image I've always held of him in my mind's eye. Now, I'm okay. I've come to terms with it. For the time being.

obsessive blog-a-holic

Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

this could be the saddest dusk i've ever seen turn to a miracle

Blah! What. A. Day. I have been completely devoid of any semblance of energy or motivation at all today. What did I do? I wasted the entire day in front of the computer looking at people's random blogs. I'd never done that before... just scrolled through everyone's blogs on blogger. It's amazing. THere are so many people and they all have something to say. It's very interesting. I think to myself, "Life sucks, this day sucks... everything's a mess... it's overwhelming." But, I always end up feeling like I don't have a right to complain. So many people on this planet have it worse than I do... (or better). It can be overwhelming to try and comprehend how many consciousnesses there are in the universe.

Eyerack

Before I knew there were people like this over there, it didn't seem real to me. Tonight I am going to this talk: “The War in Iraq: the Middle East, Islam, and U.S. Foreign Policy.” I'll let you know how it goes.

analyze this

Today I went to a thrift store and got a few deals. A pair of Thai-wrap pants for under four dollars; a plaid kilt-like skirt for a couple of bucks; a cool, fashionable purse that is oversized and brand-new; oh and a Beanie Baby Rat named "TipToes". Shopping can be fun. Now, I'm having some Merlot and listening to Madonna's American Life. Last night, I saw the new movie "Ray." Now, I am in love with Ray Charles-- except, he's not alive anymore.

Dude, that's rockin'

This is good to know.

Holy Moses

ELTON JOHN LYRICS Border Song Music by Elton JohnLyrics by Bernie Taupin (last verse by Elton John) Holy Moses I have been removed I have seen the spectre he has been here too Distant cousin from down the line Brand of people who ain't my kind Holy Moses I have been removed Holy Moses I have been deceived Now the wind has changed direction and I'll have to leave Won't you please excuse my frankness but it's not my cup of tea Holy Moses I have been deceived I'm going back to the border Where my affairs, my affairs ain't abused I can't take any more bad water I've been poisoned from my head down to my shoes Holy Moses I have been deceived Holy Moses let us live in peace Let us strive to find a way to make all hatred cease There's a man over there what's his colour I don't care He's my brother let us live in peace He's my brother let us live in peace He's my brother let us live in peace

Craziness

Jeriah told me about this silliness. It's fun and funny, so I laughed.

Decisions by Franz Kafka

"Lifting oneself from a miserable state of mind ought to be easy even by sheer willpower. I wrench myself out of the chair, walk around the table, loosen my head and my neck, drive fire into my eyes, flex the muscles around them. Work against any feelings, exuberantly greet A. if he turns up now, amiably tolerate B. in my room, inhale all of C.'s words in long drafts despite my strain and suffering. But even if I can manage like that, any mistake-- and mistakes are inevitable-- will bring everything, light or heavy, to a halt, and I will have to twist back into my circle again. Hence the best course is to put up with everything, behave like a heavy mass, and even if you feel blasted away, not be inveigled into taking any unnecessary step, gaze at the other with animal eyes, feel no remorse-- in short, push down with your own hands any ghost of life surviving in you, increase, that is, the final gravelike rest and let nothing else exist. A characteristic movement in such a state of mind is to run the little finger over the eyebrows."

it's probably good for you to 'almost die'

My roommate just got back from a day of surfing near Camel rock. He mentioned that he'd had an encounter with imminent death during his outing. I'd imagine that puts things into perspective a bit. Speaking of encounters with imminent death: I've never admitted to being a smoker. I mean, I'll smoke occasionally, yes. Maybe sometimes even more than 'occasionally,' but I've never been "addicted" to cigarettes. I really haven't. I'm just immune to nicotene addiction, I guess. In college, my professors often say that I need to elaborate more in my essays and papers. They say that I get the main point clearer than most of my classmates, but they feel short-changed somehow. I usually just feel like the fewer words used; the better. I mean, I don't want to bore people or hold them beyond what they desire. Or maybe I do, but it's a sublimated desire. Maybe it's the whole "aloof" control drama thing. My friend Heather calls it 'pith.'

conservative hegemony?

If hegemony is the way the ruling class passes off their view of things and enforces it in order to maintain the wealth of those already in control, then I think this term might apply to the United States at present. The people in power have managed to gain as a support group the same people whose wealth they are systematically extracting. The Evangelical Right have been successfully bought off with arguments of morality. Get over your sadness and disappointment and get interested in what can be done.

psychological somersaults

"...Love is scary. We can be hurt; the lover has power over us; we need to be #1 in his/her life. How does someone become so important in our emotional life? In the same way The Little Prince loved his rose bush (Saints-Exupery, 1943). It's a neat part of the story; I'll summarize: The Little Prince lived on a tiny planet all his own. He had only one rose bush. He loved it. It was so beautiful, it gave him so much pleasure. He remembers tenderly planting the little bush in his richest soil, building a fence to protect it and a trellis to hold it, trimming it and watering it every day. With pride he watched his rose bush grow into a healthy, mature rose bush which faithfully produced beautiful blossoms year after year. Then he went to another planet, Earth, and saw thousands of roses, much bigger and more beautiful than his one little bush. At first, he felt foolish for having liked his rose bush so much. After all, there was nothing special about his bush. Then he realized he didn't love his rose bush for its bigness or its outstanding beauty, he loved it because he had personally cared for his bush and because so much of his time and pleasure had been with only one rose bush, "his" roses. Like the Little Prince, we hurt when we lose "our" love. The hurting doesn't necessarily mean we lack confidence or that we believe we possess the other person; it means we are human, we long for things we have lost." Taken from this web article.

Old Witch

The old, old witch, believe me if you can Tapped on the windows and then ran, ran, ran. She ran helter-skelter, with her toes in the air Cornstalks flying, from her old witches hair. Swish went the broomstick, meow went the cat Plop went the wet toad, Sitting on her hat. Wee chuckled I, what fun, what fun Halloween night, when the witches run !

Suddenly Seymour

This song has been in my head for days. Now, it can be in your head too! Yay! (I'm such a dork).

This is so cool

My friend Jeriah gave me one of his paintings! It is a self-portrait of him as Marilyn Manson Here's a pic for scale. I understand that some people might not like it at first, or ever... but I like it for many reasons. It has personal meaning, cuz I know and like the artist. Also, it has meaning as far as the whole Jungian concept of the Shadow.

My Velma Costume

Whaddya think?

Don't eat too much candy on All Hallows Eve

I found this pic online somewhere. It's funny. Music I have been obsessed with lately: Poe Hello (especially track two)

"we did a glossy lip"

I love fashion. It's a guilty indulgence of mine, but also my right as a Gemini. My favorite fashion magazine is In Style. One thing I have never been fond of is wearing high-heeled shoes. I love they way they look, but have never been able to get over the pain they inflict on my feet and back or how difficult it is to walk in them. I want a good pair.

what i'm looking for

ode to fall i love fall days that are blustery and gray when a chill is in the air and the wind blows my skirt into plaid billows it smells like october

All Apologies

"What else could I say? Everyone is gay. What else could I write? I don't have the right." --Nirvana I am forever plagued with the affliction of ennui. My heart is heavy and my burden is not light. It seems like I'm not happy unless there's drama and intensity in my life. And by happy I mean miserable! "Life is what you make it-- and if you make it death well rest your soul" --Mother Love Bone So why Rainbow Brite? I dunno. Just felt like being nostalgic for the '80's when my troubles were less complicated and I could just watch cartoons and be fine. "Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then oh why can't I? Away above the chimney tops where troubles melt like lemon drops..."

New York Cat Show

"Atticus, a nine month old Burmese cat waits to be judged at the Cat Show New York, October 9, 2004..." Photo by Jeff Christensen Thanks, Rob, for sending me this info. He looks a bit peeved, eh? So cute! He must be mine!

cute

Jim Borgman cartoon on blogging.

Do you know the history of the Swastika?

The Swastika was originally a symbol for something good. It is a symbol with a history different than what many people know. Yesterday, I received a package in the mail (from my ex-mother-in-law who loves to browse thrift shops and has a penchant for shopping) which contained many articles of clothing, including a buddhist-type shirt that has swastikas on it, and I wore it to school today. It was fun. I was watching the Vice-Presidential debates, and honestly, I think that Cheney seems smarter and Edwards seems like he's trying too hard.... just my opinion.

Jinkies!

I have decided to dress up as Scooby Doo's Velma for Halloween! Yay! I'm going to gather together my own costume at thrift shops rather than buy a pre-made costume.

Mt. Saint Helens goes Boom!

I am glad that the volcano is erupting! It is neato torpedo!

Everybody's Fancy

I like Mister Rogers. I like this song, too. It's not perverted; you are! On a different subject; The Presidential Debate: lame. My Economic Anthropology teacher says there is no difference between Bush and Kerry, and I tend to agree. They want the same job for basically the same reasons. One thing, though; my Economic Anthropology teacher also says the U.S. is not in Iraq for oil. Hmmm. I wish I were more knowledgable without having to take the time to become as such.

it's all in there

Awareness by Anthony DeMello. "People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it." Anthony de Mello

she sells seasnails by the sea shore

stream of consciousness: grrrrr. life is annoying sometimes. the mouse on this p.o.s. hsu computer doesn't work right! In my art class right now we are doing ink stipple drawrings. (yes, drawrings. I like to say it that way) i have been having anxiety for about an hour now. it's very frustrating. it's like a feeling of extreme impatience. i like geology and archaeology. i like science.

Time To GEEK OUT!

I am currently very excited and silly over something really lame! I posted a comment on Wil Wheaton's most recent entry which is about some computer stuff, but my comment was on a side tangent about 'real work'. Basically, I asked him a direct question and he answered me in front of everyone! OMG! I'm so star-struck right now! *beaming* XD For all I know he was completely annoyed by what I said... but who cares. It's still cool.

Khalil Gibran

"I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance, and affection to be art." "If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work." "The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold." "Where is the justice of political power if it executes the murderer and jails the plunderer, and then itself marches upon neighboring lands, killing thousands and pillaging the very hills?"

stratagem

"The girl with the glass-- maybe her thoughts are with somebody else." "Someone in the picture?" "No. More likely a boy she saw somewhere and felt an affinity with." "You mean she'd rather imagine herself relating to an absent person than build relationships with those around her? . . . In fact, she's cowardly. That's why I can't capture her look." If Amelie chooses to live in a dream and remain an introverted young woman she has an absolute right to mess up her life!"

mawwiage: that bwessed awwangement

Last night, I watched the making of The Princess Bride instead of studying for my Archaeology exam. I have totally avoided studying for this exam... and I am still avoiding it. I just don't feel very into it, for some reason. Too many distractions. Anyway, The Princess Bride is one of the all-time best movies ever. That's all that matters. I love to watch Behind-the Scenes stuff about movies, too. I got all teary over the making of The Princess Bride. That is funny.

Om Mani Padme Hum

Only at HSU: I arrive at school and find the buddha experiencing enlightenment under a tree. Of course, I had to kill him when I saw him! Here is an alternate way of looking at that saying. Of course, I didn't kill the guy. He's probably still out there. Or maybe not. Is being a buddha equivalent to being in the Hum-bubble? Nah. Can we seek enlightenment? I don't think so. It is not something that can be found.

olive oyl

Right now I'm watching my roommate Tyler's DVD of Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, with Jack Nicholson and Shelley DuVall. Shelley DuVall just has something about her that I find intriguing. I also loved her in Popeye: The Movie with Robin Williams as Popeye. The song she sings in that movie, He Needs Me is also great.

Have you seen the Cap' ?

Saw Skycaptain and the World of Tomorrow yesterday. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was like eye-candy and imagination-candy and nostalgia-candy all wrapped into one big swirly lollypop!

meh

I have nothing profound to say. I need some down time. I do not like to be stimulated all the time.

movin' on up!

Yesterday I moved, all but one more truckload, into my new place! Yeah baby! I am quite happified. It's really nice to have a big, spacious, airy, bright room after spending my last three months living in what began to feel more and more crypt-like. Now, I have my own bathroom with a shower and everything! Also, I have a separate room which will be an art studio/office. Life is good. My current/old roommates are really quite awesome and I am glad to have had the opportunity to know them. Rob has been extremely helpful to me. Yesterday, he helped me move my bed; and, he is the one who introduced me to Jay-- who let me use his truck yesterday. Wow, that sentence both started and ended with the word yesterday. Rob and I stopped by this place called The Farm which is totally awesome. They grow all these vegetables and flowers and there are shareholders (which Rob is one) who come and help with harvests and then the shareholders get to take home a big box of vegetables and a bouquet of flowers. I helped Rob get his vegetables and I picked the flowers for the bouquet. Tres coolio, no? Mais oui.

i love music

I have many theme songs. My little sister thinks of me whenever she hears Story of a Girl; my mom thinks of me whenever she hears The Reason; and I think of myself whenever I hear X Static Process, Why Georgia and Basketcase. for starters. The above picture is of a baby taking a bath with a python. trip out, dude! It is an image that came up when I did a Google image search using the words "theme song"

"hang your hairshirt on the highest rung..."

I have never actually owned a pair of these boots. I had a pair of docs once, but they were 'mary jane' style. Well, yesterday, I made the move. It was a toss-up between the three colors shown in this pic, but I decided on navy. It's almost black, but a little different. I just don't think I could pull off the cherry ones. You know what's strange? Whenever I see the word 'ones,' I sort of have a weird feeling. I have to re-read it a few times. It's like when you see a handicapped person and you want to stare at them, but you don't cuz it's rude... if that makes any sense. It just seems like 'ones' is paradoxical.

Anyway, docs are spendy, but.... it is our moral obligation in life to at least once own a pair of the boots; right? Methinks that is the case. That's my justification, anyway.

carry on.

realizations

very quickly i feel that i am becoming 'old'. i've been living in the sheltered little 'humbubble' of arcata and when i come back to the central valley, i see how time is just racing by me. last night, my friend and i took my son to see Alien v. Predator and i couldn't believe how much the town i grew up in has changed! it's nothing like it was when i was one of the remotely cool kids. now i'm just a boring old person. i find myself very surprised at how all the young women are dressed like they are aspiring playboy centerfolds! more and more i am beginning to embrace my inner dork and it makes me want to start to really dress like an old granny!

woke up with this song in my head

It's a funny song! I like it. The band is called skankin' pickle. Mainly, the reason the song was in my head was that I "looked in the mirror and saw my hair was everywhere" due to the fact that I went to bed with my hair wet last night, so I had a great new 'do this morning. You know what's cool? How my family doesn't care what my hair looks like. They still love me no matter what! That's a great feeling. Of course, I will fix my hair, cuz it looks really crazy!

reality

Like a solid rock is not shaken by the wind, so the wise are not moved by praise or blame. Dhammapada, 81 Why? Because when someone says "You are so wonderful" or "You are so horrible" it only tells you about their state of mind and their opinion of you at the moment which is highly susceptible to change and many other factors. So there is no reason to allow yourself to be constantly swayed by the opinions of others. Such things are not reliable.

i am capable of writing relatively well (or not)

for some reason it just seems like i never have the time to really write anything anymore. when i read other (more interesting) blogs, i think to myself: i could do that. but, i don't do it. and they do. hmmm. is it just that i'm intimidated by the official seeming blogger template? i don't know. what if i don't look at the screen while i write? what if i were to close my eyes and talk about my day? this morning, when i woke up, i was very irritable. it was cold outside and i wasn't in the mood to exert myself, but i had to because i have to either walk to school or ride my bike. those are my choices. i chose the bike because it is faster, but arcata is full of hills which make biking rather strenuous... especially since i refuse to buy bikes with gears due to a phobia from childhood when all my expensive bikes would get stolen and i would get in trouble for not locking them up. since then, i've opted to never get bikes that ppl would want to steal. plus, there's just something disconcerting to me about bikes with gears. i like old-fashioned, pee-wee herman type bikes. by the time i got to school, i was hot which also makes me grouchy. i am often grouchy. i complain a lot, too. which makes me feel guilty. right before yoga, i felt like i really didn't want to go to yoga today. i thought to myself, i'll just half-arse it today. but, i didn't. in the end, i'm always glad i went to yoga. but then, i feel bad because yoga is all about sort of enjoying the sensation of aliveness and often i do just the opposite of that in my life. (would that be hating the sensation of non-aliveness? no.) so then, my drawing class went on a mini field trip to the arcata plaza... a place famous for pot-smoking homeless crazy hippies. they were pretty distracting to me, but i managed to whip out a couple of decent sketches (see photoblog thumbnails on sidebar) while i was there. i left class early, though, because i lost interest after those two drawings. one thing is that i always like to be 'teacher's pet' but my drawing teacher has this annoying way of making me feel like he doesn't listen to a word i say even though he acts like he is listening. another thing i really don't like is when cars who have the right-of-way at a four-way stop try to be polite and let me (as a pedestrian whom i suppose technically does have the right-of-way) go first. the whole time i just feel like i'd rather let them go and cross without the pressure of them waiting for me to finish! okay, that's enough. see what happens when i actually write?

ghost world

I like Enid's style in this movie.

Wil Wheaton Rules

If you are at all interested in learning more... go to Wil Wheaton dot net. I have the link on my sidebar.

What Religion are You?

According to the SelectSmart.com Belief System Selector, my #1 belief match is Mahayana Buddhism. What do you believe? Visit SelectSmart.com/RELIGION

All in the Family

Those Were The Days by Lee Adams and Charles Strouse Boy, the way Glen Miller played. Songs that made the hit parade. Guys like us, we had it made. Those were the days. Didn't need no welfare state. Everybody pulled his weight. Gee, our old LaSalle ran great. Those were the days. And you know who you were then, girls were girls and men were men. Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again. People seemed to be content. Fifty dollars paid the rent. Freaks were in a circus tent. Those were the days. Take a little Sunday spin, go to watch the Dodgers win. Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin. Hair was short and skirts were long. Kate Smith really sold a song. I don't know just what went wrong. Those Were The Days

Yep, that's me!

Garbage Pail Kids rule!

Today is my grandma's 73rd birthday. To celebrate, I went to the mall and bought myself some girlie stuff. Last night, I went and saw The Garden State! I enjoyed it. I could relate to the main character's plight. Tonight I'm going to get some reading done for my classes.

I wish I were Bunny McIntosh.... maybe.

I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as f*, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child!> What are you? Brought to you by Rum and Monkey Bunny McIntosh

Crop Circle

This crop circle is cool. You can read some weird UFO-type stuff at Unknown Country.

Wolfie

I have long wanted to get a Miniature Schnauzer and name him Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and call him "Wolfie" for short. Cute, huh? Someday it'll happen. I need to get a Mozart CD, though, because I know that it will make me brilliant at studying due to the Mozart Effect.

God gives us one face and we paint ourselves another!

When I saw the commercial for Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse Foundation, I immediately wanted some. It just looks so cool to me. Anyway, I bought some and I like it, but maybe I'm missing what some people have complained about. I think it's nifty! The texture is yummy!

I'm Just a Girl

The reason I am not an art major: I HATE PERSPECTIVE! YUK! YUK! YUK! Infinity. I do not like to use a ruler when I draw and I do not like to draw straight lines or empty friggin' hallways! I got myself all worked up into a tizzy over the assignment of drawing a hallway and my teacher said I was having a meltdown. Oy Vey! Lately, I have been very grouchy, it seems. I was totally peeved yesterday because my teacher made us get into small groups and discuss our reading assignment. I absolutely despise when teachers do that! To me, it is such a waste of time and such a cop-out! See what a negative creep I'm being? Complain, complain, complain.

Fun Quiz

Thoroughly Antisocial You think people suck and that they are fairly stupid. You avoid large social gatherings like the plague. Maybe you tolerate a friend if they drop by to say hi. Congratulations, we might like you! How antisocial are you?

11:11

Okay, for like 14 years I have been sort of transfixed by digital clocks when they show the time 11:11. There are actually a lot of people who feel this way and this has been written about in some strange books and on this weird website. And this one. And this one, too. For more: Google 11:11.

wasting time

I'm happy because I've found a place to rent. I am supposed to be moving out of my current place by Sept. 15th. It was a summer sublet. I really enjoyed living there-- the price was right and my roommates have all been great. They are even the ones who referred me to my new situation. The rental situation is not great in Arcata-- it's not always easy to find a place. So, I am grateful.

What To Say?

Feelings fluxuate and are fast to fade Sometimes it seems like nothing ever stops changing. Thoughts about things tend to tread on my toes. Can I compartmentalize this? Are my ideas about what happens the same thing as the actual events? Do I have any idea what is going through your head? You make no sense. I make no sense. One thing I do know: I'm Emo! (or I'm a poser).

Pride Cometh Before A Fall

I was racing to try and catch a bus to Eureka to buy these pants when I suddenly tripped and went flying through the air and crashed hard onto the pavement scratching the skin off both knees, a shoulder, elbow and hip. Ouch! I was carrying too many things and rushing. Needless to say, I missed the bus and spent the next half hour in the nurse's office getting cleaned up. Brother! I guess the universe didn't want me to have those pants today! I certainly have no motivation now to go after them. Maybe tomorrow. :-(

Schooli-O

"Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world." -R. D. Lang School starts today. I am excited about that! Lots of energy. Lots of new people to look at. Lots of new stuff to learn! Yippee-kay-yay! "We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe." -Johann von Goethe

bored

"Someone's boring me. I think it's me." Dylan Thomas (1914 - 1953), in Rayner Heppenstall, Four Absentees (1960).

Burning Man

There's something interesting about this to me from an anthropological and artistic standpoint, but from a social standpoint, it gives me the heebie jeebies. I become overwhelmed just imagining myself going to this event. I could only consider it if I had a specific purpose, like doing a study or report or something. Other than that, part of me thinks that it is totally ridiculous and unnatural; but, how can I judge it? I've never been there. I'd be afraid to go unless I had a way to escape it. One thing I don't like is excess of anything. I think Burning Man is excessive. Excess of lust, population, decoration, intoxication, etc. Perhaps that is also true of society at large. Especially interesting to me is the photo gallery. Check it out.

Stop Making Sense

I have a ticket to go see David Byrne next Wednesday! I haven't been to a concert in many years. Maybe ten years? I don't remember. No wait.... five years ago I saw Sarah Brightman which was otherworldly.

Easily Amused

A friend sent me this link. Have fun!

Anna of the Five Towns

I just picked up this book at the HSU bookstore. I bought it because it was $3 and I wanted to read a book that is unlike what I habitually read (rarely novels). So, I'm expecting that it will change my life. If it does not fulfill that expectation, hopefully it will at least distract me long enough to give me a different perspective on life. That is my hope.

Bukowski

A friend of mine introduced me to Bukowski, whose poetry I find disturbing. On Grief

Tao Te Ching

The greatest misfortune is desire. The greatest burden is greed. The greatest curse is discontent. Only those who know when enough is enough will ever have enough.

I can relate

This is an exerpt from an article I just read: Read at Your Own RiskHas Dr. Seuss' legacy hobbled America's literacy crusade? By Ann Hulbert. "...a crucial prerequisite (as well as product) of being a real reader: a sense of privacy. One thing the old-fashioned didactic regimen granted children was the thrilling feeling that their imaginative business with books was their own." "Truly absorbing, addictive reading of imaginative writing is intensely private and, in a social sense, escapist. "Serious readers aren't reading for instruction," as an anthropologist at work studying American literary habits told novelist Jonathan Franzen. Devoted readers are hoping for a chance to discover, in the narrated lives of other selves, what it's like to be an individual confronting the unpredictable. Maybe it's time to stop spreading fears about "reading at risk," and try generating more excitement about reading at your own risk. How? I wish I could say you could look it up, but you can't." Good schtuff!

Words, words, words....

It's the place where my prediction from the sixties finally came true: "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is, "In fifteen minutes everybody will be famous." Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures (1979) "Studio 54"

One Ring To Rule Them All

Last night, we played The Lord of the Rings Drinking Game, which was very funny. While watching the movie, you have to drink whenever practically anything happens... or doesn't. People even started making up new reasons to drink. The best thing that came out of it for me was that I (mostly) memorized this poem.

on solitude

"[The] group never invents anything. The preciousness lies in the lonely mind of a man," John Steinbeck, East of Eden.

make a mini-you

See my "mini-me" on the sidebar? You can make one, too!

orange crush

Article with Photo Well-written article.

Alan Watts

I didn't know there was such a song as this one.

two omens

Fair or fowl? First; this morning, as I started to drift out of deep sleep, I had a dream of being visited in my bed by a large bird of prey. It was either a hawk or a small brown eagle. I awoke and drowsily moved the bird with my hand so I could go back to sleep. The impactful thing about the dream was that it seemed hyper-real. Also, that I felt familiar with the bird and was not afraid that it would bite me. I feel as though it was a totem animal or a spirit animal which came to me with a message of empowerment. Sencondly, as I was walking to school I walked by a cute little house with a yard filled with flowers and a little girl with blonde hair. In her adorable little white dress, she looked just like Alice flitting about in Wonderland and I told her as much. It was an uplifting moment.

Pith

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby

my enneagram type is 4w5

free enneagram test

Bring in the Clowns

I went with my roommate 'Tofu' to a really fun theatrical performance by a local theatre troupe called Dell'Arte. It was an outdoor, evening performance and I really enjoyed myself.

stream of consciousness

I have begun my class in Beginning Painting and finished my first painting. Actually, it could probably use more work, but it is technically finished. It is an exercise in values (tone/shading). I used Burnt Sienna and Titanium White. I'm proud of it. It's very satisfying to go to that class. The time just flies by and I become completely absorbed in what I'm doing. My other class, on the other hand, is weight training. I don't really like to go to that because I feel like it's so unfamiliar and it feels like I'm going to a gym. I'm not used to it. I can either lift weights or go swimming. I feel a little bit afraid to even walk into the weightroom. It just feels like I don't belong there. However, I brought my gym clothes today in the hopes that I will force myself to go. It's so strange to me how I have certain hurdles to jump that feel like huge mountains to me, and then other things are just perfectly enjoyable and fine for me. I guess the best thing is to push myself to do the things that don't come as easily? Right now, I'm hungry and crave bacon, eggs and cheese.

T-Squared's art

Okay, I have the pictures of T^2's art, now. They are on my 'moblog' which you can access by clicking on the thumbnails in my sidebar. He is a local artist here in Arcata... considered an "outsider" artist because he has had no artistic training and is homeless; i.e., not a member of the "art community." His medium is found objects. Mostly lids from bottles, pieces of screen and blocks of wood. I have spoken with him and I see him around town a lot, as do many of the people I know. He really seems like a true artist to me. I get that vibe from him.

i am a rock

I was listening to this song this morning and thought to myself: hmmmm.... When did this start to apply to me?

surprise!

This morning I woke up to find one of these in my coffee cup! Needless to say, I was rather startled and let out a shriek! But, it was a cute little frog after all.

and now...

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.

a fun time was had by all

My son, his grandma and I went to the Art Deco exhibit at the Legion of Honor Museum in San Francisco. We also went to the San Francisco Zoo, which was fun. The coolest thing for me was being able to experience first-hand the things I've been studying in my summer classes. I was absolutely amazed at the art deco exhibit! It was wonderful. I also enjoyed seeing the lemurs and chimpanzees at the zoo. It was like a field trip!

atticus

Kirsten Dunst was on Ellen Degeneres' show and she said that she named her dog Atticus. I tried to find a reference to it on her website but was unsuccessful!

There's no such thing as 'race'

A lot of times people ask me if I am Irish because I have red hair and fair skin. Whatever. So the assumption is that all Irish people have red hair and fair skin? It's tough to wrap our minds around the idea that there is no scientific way to say that there are different races of humans. It's a myth-- a folk-tale. It's hard to understand because it has been so ingrained in our minds that you can tell where someone comes from by the color of their skin, the type of hair they have or any other aspect of their physical appearance. It is not biologically, scientifically possible to tell someone's race. It isn't real. I have heard people say that someone has Irish hands. Or, what about being hot-tempered as an Irish trait? Or Asians are conservative intellectuals. You know? It is a social construct. My maternal great-grandmother was from the Azores. My paternal grandmother's family came from England. However: humans have been 'inter-breeding' for millenia. Just because they came from a particular location doesn't mean that their 'ancestry' was 'pure'. Life is so confusing, I swear! We love to put labels on things. We love 'final answers', but I'm here to tell ya: there are none. Also: my weblog is meant to be a free-for-all journal of my thoughts. I can't put too much pressure on myself to make it perfect! K? So if it's not "HOT" that's just TOO BAD! I do the best I can. This is just me letting of steam in a variety of ways.

Stepford Wives

I saw The Stepford Wives last night and I thought it was great! Terrific cast. How can you go wrong with Christopher Walken? It was great to see Matthew Broderick in something. He doesn't seem much at all like Ferris Bueller anymore-- except that he'll always seem like a little boy you want to take care of. Nicole Kidman was very good. Her facial expressions perfectly conveyed the character's emotions! It was amazing to me. It was a funny movie.

Art

Sometimes, I think I am an artist. I have some artistic talent, I think. This class I am taking though, in 20th Century Art, makes me feel like I could never be an artist. Sometimes I think it is all very interesting and then other times I just think it's totally crazy and pointless! I get it; but, I don't get it. One thing I can say for sure is that I am confused.

instant insanity

Last night I had a now-rare burst of temper! I was so angry at my cat! It seems hilariously absurd in the light of day. The reason I was mad at her is complex, but not at all her fault! I think, in part, it has to do with the fact that I hardly ever allow myself to express anger anymore. I've become afraid of my own anger because it has led me to trouble in the past. Of course, this segues into the fact that I am probably mildly depressed as a result of such repression-- but that's a different story. Anyway... the long story is that I never wanted the cat in the first place. My son brought her home one day and I told him we couldn't keep her. We left her outside, but the following morning she was still around so I caved! Of course, I ended up being the one who takes care of her, and she has been something of a financial burden. I've spent hundreds of dollars on her in the past five months just getting her spayed and having her immunizations and some other small things. Vets are spendy! So, anyway... I haven't wanted her to be in my room at my new place, because I thought she could just be an outside cat. However, she recently had some kind of allergic reaction to something and I felt really guilty about having left her outside so much; so I've been letting her sleep in my room at night. At first, she was not used to it so she would just curl right up and go to sleep until morning. Now that she has become accustomed to this however, she's been wandering around in my room and getting all feisty. This leaves me feeling unsettled because I am not keeping a litter box in my bedroom and I'm worried that she will pee under my bed. So, we got into a power struggle last night. I could swear that she knew that I wanted her to stay put and so she obstinately refused to do so just on principle. If I'd've been smarter about it, I'd've just taken her outside and said 'To heck with it.' Only because of the guilt I feel, I kept insanely trying to force her to stay put on my bed and she was having none of it! I was totally enraged. This is one of my longest entries ever because it bothers me so much that I was so immature about it. I think that there is more to it than just the surface circumstance. It has something to do with my being unwilling to be an adult? Unwilling to work from my 'adult mindset'. I age-regressed to a time I recall with a different cat that I had. I used to try and force her to look into my eyes, which she absolutely hated. It was truly sadistic of me. I have never actually hurt an animal; I would feel way too horrible to do something like that. I don't even like to kill spiders, ants or even flies. Anyway, anger can be very subtle and it can creep out at the oddest of times. It's something that I should not forget. I think that all humans have the capacity for both good and evil. It's good to remember that.

T Squared

Today, this homeless artist gave me a few of his sculptures/found objects. Soon, I will get a picture of them and post it here. I talked to my art teacher about it and showed them to her. She said it was interesting and I intend to look into it a little bit more to see if this guy will be of any interest to the art world.

Crash Test Dummies

If you want to know what my two academic classes are like this summer session... read the lyrics to a couple of Crash Test Dummies songs: 20th Century Art, Human Biology and Evolution. They sum it up quite nicely.

arcata oyster festival

Well, this is supposed to be a really huge event. I went to it and was not particularly impressed. It was just your typical festival. A place to people-watch or spend money. I was in the mood to do neither... So, here I am at my favorite place: The Library! I'm such a nerd! Anti-social bookworm; that's me. Rebel without a cause!

Ginger Altoids!

Yummy! (The add for them is on the last page of ads)

Violet Crumble

Honeycomb is my favorite candy! I definitely prefer it from an old fashioned candy store, but Violet Crumble will do in a pinch! Apparently, you can make it yourself! Imagine that! I've never even considered trying to make it, but since it is my favorite candy and not always easy to find: Voila!

Hmmmm.... To Shave or not To Shave, That is the question.

This has recently become a question for me because here in Arcata, a lot of women do not shave. The idea has been of interest to me before, but I chickened out. Am I brave enough to not shave? Here are an article and a website dedicated to this topic. Why Women Shave

Six hours of Yoga per Week

So much Yoga is very good. Today, however, my teacher helped me to 'melt my heart' and it made me cry. I'm so sensitive. I think that I have a thick wall around my heart. It felt good to go into it as much as I did, but I guess it released some pent-up emotion.

Compost

Well, finally I get to compost! This new place in which I now reside... has a compost pile that is fully active. My old roommate thought that it was bad to compost. She was strange.

spelling bee

I won a spelling bee when I was in fourth grade. Coolio. I like spelling. Here is a link to a mini spelling test. I missed two! Whoopsie.

A Very Merry Un-Birthday to You!

Today it's my birthday... Is it your birthday too... yeah? I might take myself to go see the new Harry Potter! Gary Oldman! Yeah baby!

Penny

This is a first. Someone told me I remind them of Penny from Inspector Gadget! I've been told Allyson Hannigan and Bridget Fonda, but never a cartoon character! I took it as a compliment. I used to love Inspector Gadget.

here i am!

I have moved into a new living situation and am quite pleased. It is very relaxing and mellow. There is a terrific yard and garden and greenhouses. My cat gets to live outside and play around all day. There's a cool dog named Zelda. My cat is not pleased with Zelda, but Zelda thinks my cat is a wonderful new toy! My roommates are cool. There are: Orion, Hollie, Tofu and Rob. Also, next-door is a woman named Ida who made me a nice, welcoming bouquet of flowers which were on my doorstep when I arrived. It's a 10-minute walk from the HSU campus, which is quite convenient. Plus, I really enjoy living in Arcata. It's 'my kinda town.' :-) It's all good! I just started summer school, which is lots of fun. I have six hours of yoga a week... plus I'm taking 20th Century Art and Biological Anthropology-- both very interesting classes. My 31st birthday is on Monday! YeeHaw! Next weekend I'm going camping and the following weekend, my son and I are going to my friend's wedding in Ensenada. It's definitely a full month!