i apologize

i've been acting silly lately. having my fun.

but is that so wrong?

i mean, really, none of this is meant to be serious.

it's play.

lime in the coconut- the muppets


my favorite videos on youtube

all for you

in public i take the heat

(blogwise) privately, all is sweet.

the rest of my life

which i choose not to share

as far as you're concerned

is neither here nor there.

i've had a few ideas about what direction this blog should take in my 34th year (birthday 6/7). this is your opportunity to have some influence

what do you want to see more of on this blog
	boobies!
	philosophical musings
	movie reviews
	pics of my boyfriend
	pics of my baby
	lampooning of famous celebrity bloggers
	mopey, sad, woe is me posts
	pics and stories about what i eat.
	arguments with my boyfriend.
pollcode.com free polls

it's not that serious

did this day seem to drag at all to you? t'was long for me. i'm ready to call it a day. and, like, sometimes? i just wanna be left alone... i just mean, that i need time to THINK. it seems like i've always tried to be good but sort of wanted to be bad.

but i wanted to be bad and not care about the consequences...

a feat which i have yet to master.

damned conscience.

i'm speaking in generalities here.

it's just that any time i do something which i know i should not do,

well...

i KNOW it.

and knowing that i know it

i know that i know that i know it.

y'know?

but it's all my process

and you have yours, i am sure.

nobody can tell anyone else what to do can they?

later

the tendency to say

it can't be solved today

could lead to something being

never solved.

a long string of postponed days

ends up apruptly

becoming years of wasted

wasted

wasted?

later

i know that you do

okay, this is kind of cool and it is something positive for all y'all who have had your fill of all the ridiculous, immature, junior high school style blogospheric b.s.. i was talking through the backyard fence to the elderly gentlewoman (being politically correct here) who lives next door and i asked her if she knew anyone who needed in-home health support. she now seems to be excited because she feels like she is on a mission to use her contacts to get me a job. isn't that awesome? i think it is. i should have done it a LONG time ago. i hope she gets me a job and it all works out for the best. don't you?

bitter much?

there have been a lot of blogposts about me lately!

i am famous.

you know why?

because all of the bloggers who hate me are either famous or are associated with famous people

so.

i've got that going for me.

AND, i have rec'd emails from cool people who have invited me out for drinks because they appreciate my point of view.

Radical.

mmhm.

so have your fun, little trolls.

it only makes me stronger.

enjoy pretending to be celebrities if it makes you feel better

and i will continue being a boring SAHM with amazing painting abilities and a wide range of interests and knowledge including my degree in anthropology

i am sorry that i have a round face and still have ten pounds of post-baby fat to lose. it IS summer however and having a toddler definitely keeps me active, so although i appreciate your concern, i think i'll be okay. i'm not shooting for supermodel, here. just self-acceptance.

you should try it sometime, cyborgs.

i dunno, you tell me

having people be really critical of me has made me feel more critical of myself which is probably a good thing actually because i think that being social creatures we require a certain amount of social checks and balances and i am a really isolated person so it isn't surprising that i have problematic social encounters.

plus both of my parents were completely antisocial when i was growing up. seriously, neither of them had friends. i think it was because they were so young when they had me so they didn't fit in well with any demographic at that time? plus my dad was in the airport so whatever, i don't know.

just

it is a gorgeous day,

i have about four hours of free time

and it looks so far like we're not going anywhere

because scott is obsessing over some stupid dumb old jurnul of mine.

pssshhh.

yeah. i 'dated' guys before i met you. sorry.

it sux.

we have been having some sort of youtube deejay wars where we pick songs to play really loud that have some message to them, like i played forgiveness by india arie and then by don henley, etcetera. and then he played 'she fucking hates me' and then i played 'low self esteem' and then he played... you get the picture. HAHAHAAAAAA.

but it isn't actually very funny.

i guess i will paint then because everyone else who has a life is out doing FUN things while i sit at home and blog about my breakfast.

a quote i found in one of my old (paper) journals

Jesus' words confront our stubborn independence:

"You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." (Rev 3:17)

sauerkraut is my favorite

also mustard.

i like to say "moo-tard"

like the french say it.

i don't think i would eat a hot dog if it had only Cat's S'up? No thank you. ew.

mustard all the way, dudez.

checkit.

what do you think about the idea that whatever hurt you inflict on others will be felt by you eventually and probably even moreso?

kinda scary, huh?

anyway, the SOWER KROUT is challenging. chaotic things are difficult to paint.

i went to the thrift store and one thing i purchased was a book called The Bonesetter's Daughter. who knows if i'll ever read it. i never did read running with scissors. i just haven't had the desire.

that's kind of how it is with painting, too. sometimes i just have no interest in it.

and when i do have an interest in it, it's best to take advantage.

i'm still awesome.

don't be too jeals.

:-P

most recent progress on my painting

i've saved the sauerkraut for last because it is the hardest.

another strange drawing

this drawing was done by the 2 yr-old daughter of a friend of ours with help from someone? i'm assuming mom. no wait, on second thought-- dad for sure.

oh noz!

here is another self-indulgent attempt to get attention by pretending to be better looking than i actually am in the hopes that someone somewhere might possibly pay me a compliment because otherwise nobody ever would! isn't that sad???

p.s. those pants are actually way too big for me and are constantly falling off so don't try and say they are too tight, cuz you don't know what you are talking about as usual

i found this at the playground about a week ago.

does it really matter?

i hope it won't be so cold today. i'm ready for things to start warming up. it's too flippin' cold! windy. nobody likes wind, i think. i have no idea what i'm going to do today. what should i do? i want to work some more on the painting. if it's warm enough, i'd like to sunbathe. yard work and housework are always on the list. i feel like drinking tons of coffee and it seems we are all out of the stuff. my stomach is full of air. i like to read personal diary-style blogs. some people seem to dislike those. just like anything. attraction/aversion ya gotta pick one and stick with it, folks. i am not serious.

this kid rocks i am serious bout that

something up my sleeve

Gazoo

do you enjoy spending time alone?

i do.

some people don't ever like to be alone.

it makes them feel uncomfortable.

i am not one of those people.

when people say they'd be uncomfortable going to a movie alone, i do NOT get that.

psh.

my grandma is that way.

she worries about how other people see her.

i guess we all do that to some extent; but,

i've always been antisocial.

looking back on my life,

i either wanted to be the boss of the situation or not be in the situation.

and i don't really even like being the boss.

i'm imperturbable lately because i am happy about something.

i'm not even gonna tell you what it is cuz it's none of your business.

this is not freudian

hot dog painting in-progress. it's a little slow-going due to water mixable oils as medium. hot dogs are indie.

like me.

gotta catch 'em all!

this video has 23,975,131 views!!!!!!!!!!! pokemon theme song! this is FUNNyz

is there such a thing?

my blog is read internationally

the other day i bought a squash plant, a bell pepper plant and a sage plant and somehow i have LOST the sage plant and it is really bothering me. it's hard for me to let it go. i mean the plant cost less than two dollars but STILL! i wanted that one! i keep looking for it and trying to figure out how it could have disappeared and i am not buying any of the scenarios with which i've come up.

and also, one of our ghost shrimp died... i had noticed on the way home from the store that one of them was missing an eye and scott said it would probably die and it did. it hid under the castle and died. the things only cost .25 and they are basically sea monkeys. they're cool to watch. like a little lobster or crawdad.

it was starting to be all summer-like but today it is windy and chilly. but i also want to paint something today. i have an idea. so maybe that is what i'll get started on.

televised superswear

this dude is a rockstar

really nice cover of a crash test dummies song called superman

this guy is impossibly good

mojito

we set up an inflatable pool in the backyard today.

there was some traveling guy with some donkeys coming thru town today. i was going to interview him talking about his alternative lifestyle choice and put it on youtube... but i didn't.

when i took some pics he asked for a donation. i gave him a buck. scott and his mom don't believe in giving money to people like that so they were like 'how much did you give him?'

we've been living here for almost a year now and we just went to our first party. one of scott's old high school friends had a slab party because they just finished laying the foundation to the new house they are building.

i made that southwest pasta salad in the above pic. it was good.

played croquet, even. then we ate and ran.

bound and determined

my skin is so dry. i'm exhausted. i got two squash plants today and a sage plant. we got three more ghost shrimp (i accidentally lost our first one down the drain) and some other kind of bottom feeder that i'm too lazy to find out the name of and it isn't placostamus.

it's almost eleven AM and i've already mowed and watered lawns front and back and cleaned out my closet. also i've cooked breakfast and done a sinkful of dishes and potted a petunia plant. but it's not enough. isn't that amazing? and i also wish i could do so much more.