the people in my neighborhood

i frequently bump into things and hurt myself. i probably say 'ow' at least 20 times a day, i would bet. It makes me think of 'my name is luca... walked into the door again.' only i really did. or kick my shin into something or slam a finger or whatever. all the time. i think i must like it or something.

When I was a Freshman in High School, my group in English/Lit made up a song to "my name is luca" but we changed it to be about parts of speech .... i remember only

my name is noun
i'm a person, place or thing...

so... uh.... nerdy?

it was embarrassing, too, when my friend and I basically had to go up to the front of the class & sing it. It was really very dorky.

Suzanne Vega, My Name is Luka

just don't ask me what it was

in other news....

there are like 2 or 3 pregnant 13 yr-olds living ON my street!

ANd there is this little boy who constantly plays outside in only his underwear. he looks to be about 8. but who knows how old he is.

and with those girls... who is getting them pregnant?

their dads, or what?

sheesh. gross.

pay attention

i think i am guilty of idolatry. WHY? you ask. well, we are probably all implicated in this but my particular topic at the moment is the ridiculous amount of love i feel for kurt cobain. i'm one of those. whatever that is.

all in all is all we are

these songs reflect my feelings at this moment.



Were not scared to lose it all
Security throw through the wall
Future dreams we have to realize
A thousand sceptic hands
Wont keep us from the things we plan
Unless were clinging to the things we prize

And do you feel scared - I do
But I wont stop and falter
And if we threw it all away
Things can only get better
Woah woah oh, Woah woah oh oh oh oh

Treating today as though it was
The last, the final show
Get to sixty and feel no regret
It may take a little time
A lonely path, an uphill climb
Success or failure will not alter it


sinead oconnor all apologies



i still acknowledge that i am a hypocrite in so many ways, expecting other people to live up to standards that i don't live up to myself. for that i am sorry and sorry that i did not understand the situation and it doesn't even matter. but acting in anger is something to really really avoid. no matter what you have to do to avoid it. however relearning habits that you've used for a lifetime is a high challenge to face.

here you can see my scoliosis

Sure, Not

we watched Idiocracy the other day. It was really funny, if you ask me.

i feel really bad that owen wilson tried to kill himself last sunday
here is a really cool/interesting article about jealousy, The Dangerous Passion.

american breakfast

art class

here i am painting in my art class.
there was a guy there playing guitar for us while we painted. that was nice.
there was this old guy sitting next to me and he was funny. he said he speaks in parables. he said some funny stuff about my painting.
he said, "don't forget the kitchen"
and also, when i said that the painting felt 'stale' to me, he said, "well, how long ago did you cook it?"
haha.
anyway, i've made quite a lot of improvement on that painting, which cannot be seen in the photo here because i took this at the beginning of class.

you can learn a lot from rocks

It will be nice when I can buy "real clothes" sometimes. I guess. I've always been a thrift-store lover. When I shop retail, I'm always very surprised by the prices. It just doesn't seem like clothes are worth that much money. I think Artist types wear funky strange clothing that looks like they got it out of a dumpster. I think of myself as this type of person. I like to dress strangely... oddly. I like it. I pick the clothes out and choose to wear them because I think it is fun. Always temporary. I am not attached to my clothing. I am not my clothing.

I don't think I am HOT. Hot hot. I'm kinda hot in a Velma-esque type of way, I guess.

That art class is tonight. I am going to go. I'm going to take my bacon and eggs painting. Or my eureka beach painting cuz that really isn't finished. It's fun to work with and get feedback from other artists.

In college, I took a lot of Art classes. I love art and artists. But especially weird, crazy artists. It's always cool to get peoples reactions to my stuff.

not up to par

well, my hypothesis was quite incorrect; for, in my case showing breasts heeds mostly insults. i've learned a few things about how my breasts are perceived by others, i guess.
1. don't show them
2. no one wants to see them
3. they are hideous.
4. i need surgery on my breasts.

alrighty then...

my opinion of the womens' breasts who are now in judgment of the quality of mine, shall remain where it belongs. nowhere.

...rather, try to love him all the more... (NSFW)

actually, it probably is safe for work, but questionably so
i picked up my rock hammer while i was searching maniacally everywhere for the STUPID water conditioning tablets for the fishtank! I got way too upset about it and started becoming frantic mostly because i am SICK AND TIRED of misplacing things. had it up to HERE, i tell you.

anyway, the rock hammer reminded me of a dream I had last night. I dreamt that someone (most likely my son [long story]) wore down the entire tip. when i was describing the dream to someone i said worn down the whole point. then i thought, hmmmm. the whole point has been eliminated? worn down? hmmm. by my son, tho? well, in a roundabout way, coincidentally, i suppose, the two times my laptop AC adapter has died, he was the one using it. the way he is involved is that he doesn't foresee the outcome of not paying attention to detail. he is young and men are less apt to think that way, anyway. aren't they? but, he let the battery completely die without thinking a thing of it until the comp stopped working.

it's not his fault OFFICIALLY just he is associated. he's an accomplice to the crime. also my fault for letting him use my comp for extended times without checking on the status of the battery when i knew it was malfunctioning. another thing that may have contributed was the replacement AC adapter i purchased is not stock and the part that goes in (the male) was shorter than the original so it may have caused the pointy part in the hole to wobble wiggle etc. and stuff.

i'm sure you find this fascinating and intriguing. but i have nobody else to talk to because nobody is nobody.

i guess tomorrow there will be a total eclipse of the moon.

have you ever seen a woman's breast?

if you post a pic of your boobs, even just one boob, on your blog, you will get a ton of people acting like it is the most beautiful thing they have ever seen!

personally, i am never impacted that way, when i see a woman's breast on a blog, it does not impact me at all other than to wonder why it is that everyone loves that so much. and then it makes me want to do it too so i can see if everyone flips out over my boob, too.

that's me, alright.

it's a beautiful day. the trees are blowing in the wind, which is beautiful and calming to watch. my daughter has been at church with her grandma for the last couple of hours. i'm listening to music. drinking coffee. people usually think i am 27. they also used to say, until i got pregnant this last time, that my body did not look like i had ever had a kid. i'm starting to really like and enjoy my body, now.

btw, my ray bans are vintage Cats! Big diff.

headgammes

one of the ways that i trick myself into cleaning the house is to imagine that someone is coming over whom i would be mortified if they saw the mess. I imagine someone special is coming over like the president, the pope, gary oldman, or just whatever. In junior high i imagined it was this guy named Barrett Cohn.

OMG! There is some MAJOR DRAMA going on next door. involving two firetrucks and about 7 people (two of them, children). oy vey.

I just went over and stuck my nose in by telling the mom to stay calm and not cuss. looks like the dad is going to jail. i'm thinking the kids might be taken away. whatever. i should not be involving myself in other people's drama. I have enough of my own, don't I? and i'm trying to avoid drama in my own life as it is.

picture of dress to come shortly

We have two thrift stores here in town. The old one is run by old ladies and it benefits some type of ministry. The new one is AWESOME, although they both have good qualities. I still go to both of them.

The other day at the old lady one, the ladies were talking about a scantily clad woman who had just left the store and they said, "Did you see her? Doesn't leave much to the imagination, does it?" I ruminated over the meaning of that phrase. Those ladies there are nice and pretty cool. They are like church ladies.

So, yesterday, i went to the new store and the family who runs that place are COOL!
I bought a used sofa set to replace our piece of crap green velvet sofa which was falling apart and was the only sofa we could fit through our front door when we first moved in. We got it for free at a yard sale last summer. I felt that we need furniture that is solid, grounding, stable and gives a sense of strength and security.


The set I purchased is like a granny couch but also it is a lot like a modern futon. I got a denim futon cover for $2 and some homemade patchwork for fifty cents and covered up the old cushions which had things on them like cobs of corn and acorns and pinecones. I still thought that would be funny in an ironic way to furnish our house like with all old people type of furniture.

For me, the whole experience was a lot of fun!
I wanted to get some solid furniture for our house and it all happened so quickly. I just said yes and paid them $45 for the set. A funny thing, too, is that i decided to go out of the house in short shorts and a dress that just grazed the bottom of the shorts. The dress was a total granny dress, which balanced out the shortness, in my mind.


I was worried Scott wouldn't 'get it' but i was also excited at the prospect of 'making it work'. He was very concerned about Sophie being around the old cushions. I sprayed them all heavily with Lysol (Crisp Linen scent) and then ran to the old thrift store SURE that I would find some way to cover the cushions.

I searched through all of their material remnants and linens. I'd come up with a few ideas, but nothing perfect until.... I saw something that I'd seen there many times but never did buy... I always thought it was a sofa cover. I bought it and hoped it would work. Turns out, it's a Futon Cover, made expressly for this purpose and the cushions ALL FIT perfectly! YAY. One problem solved.

Feeling like a total Interior Designer, I was inspired to sew the unfinished denim quilt into covers for the footrest cushions. YAY. Scott was surprised at how deftly I maneuvered the whole situation. I'm still feeling like it was a cool deal.

Another cool aspect is that the sofa looks almost identical to my boyfriend's parents sofa, which I believe he grew up with... so it brings that feeling of home and familiarity. The removable cover is a plus, with a toddler around it will likely need frequent washing.

The best part is that it's not some generic sofa purchased in a retail establishment for $1000. It is a humble, practical, solid piece of furniture which I can customize any way I want without too much concern since it basically only cost $50. That is the price of an evening meal out for a lot of people.

This purchase sets the stage for any future purchases of household furnishings.
I intend to refurnish our house using only items purchased at the thrift stores here in our town (unless there is just some amazing exception and I have to buy something somewhere else). I like to be creative and inventive and resourceful. I like having eclectic furnishings, also.

i have so many journals (IRL) that it is crazy. i want to gather them ALL together and take a pic of them just to show you how many i have but i keep finding more and more because they are hidden everywhere!



i worked 'in banking' for seven years. from 1995-2002. i started to hate it for the last couple of years. maybe i always hated it to some degree. it was one of those things where you are planning on finding something better but it just doesn't seem to happen?

i was pretty good at what i did. i have some fond memories about it. whenever anyone talks about something related to banking i pipe up with my two-cents because i have an insiders perspective. when i go to banks i feel really comfortable because it is all so familiar to me. i feel like i work there, too. or imagine it.

then my dad died and i went back to school to hide there so i didn't have to be a grown-up anymore. but i got my degree in the process. now i have a 1 yr-old and am considered disabled, but i want to paint and do some ethnographies.
oh yeah, i am gonna start going to an art class next tuesday! that will be great cuz i am in a slump painting-wise. and now i am going to go shorten/hem a vintage homemade dress so it will be 'modernized'

focus on family

so like, my boyfriend was like, "i think you should take more pics of Sophie" and i was like, I take plenty. You just never see them, i guess. normally i try to avoid posting pics of kids on my blog cuz the internet is not really a safe place to do so. but, in this case, i try to avoid showing her face straight on.

here she is doing yoga (downward facing dog)

even my kid thinks she is raymi! as the above pic demonstrates.
OH NO! i talked about raymi! the gestapo will be here any second.


look, she is a masterful artiste.


i like how her hair is glowing here.