Wednesday, August 01, 2007

don't i still look the same?

this was in like fifth or sixth grade.

i absolutely LOVED this ESPRIT sweater, which I got for Christmas.

i didn't invite you butch and M.G.
i think butch is oddly funny and i like him in a weird sort of like/don't like way.
Love might be too strong a word however. When I was a kid I went to a Christian School until Sixth grade and whenever someone would say, "You love Mark Roseberry" I would say, "Yeah, In GOD's Way" isn't that funny. we all used to say that.

I wish that Raymi liked me.

It'll probably be like 10-15 yrs before Kathryn ever speaks to me. If that. but the bigger hurt to me is how she is acting, now. For me it hurts, although not enough to cry about it. I still love the Kathryn I used to know.

I am paranoid about Monstergirl and her intentions toward me. I find it very hard to deal with her and Raymi's constant onslaught of criticisms. I would never invite that or enjoy it. It makes me feel like complete crap and I hate it. I do not think it is fun and I very very very rarely come to raymi or butchie's blog, but after the way you have all treated me, (which is not at all warranted) it is no wonder that I would be angry at you and feel like lashing out. You are stalking me and harrassing me and I want you to stop. You try to make it look like I'm the aggressor, but I am not. I don't have to explain every detail of my life to you and you have no reason to want to know about it. What, just because I used to copy raymi's style for fun. It wasn't to harm her or steal her friends. It was because I figured if people like that style of blog, why does there only have to be one? I would enjoy reading other blogs in the style of Raymi's.

But, now I have absolutely no desire to be influenced at all by Raymi because it's not fun anymore. If I were to look at her blog, I would just feel like crap about it. I liked her for three years, I think. It's been hard having her attack me all the time. Sometimes I tried to fight back but mostly I tried to defend myself. People are taking blogging way too seriously. There are a lot of other girls who copy things about raymi. It's not like I'm the first person to do it. What is the big deal? And I think I should be able to talk about my feelings about this on my blog without being accosted. It is not a way to treat anyone. It's like a form of torture. I can't win. No matter how hard I try to explain that my boyfriend and I are not mooching off of anyone and we do plenty of stuff. We take good care of our daughter and My ex-husband and I do what is best for our son.

even tho I feel good about my weight (except for the spare tire if that's what you wanna call it.) but I am far from Fat. that is really quite obvious. You can see that Kathryn and I have both inherited 'fat faces'. But do you harrass your friends if they don't have perfect body mass index? because when you do it to me, you are doing it to them, too. the attitudes you show toward me apply to YOU. They demonstrate things about YOU. You should be ashamed of yourselves. You say that you have information that would ruin me, whatever. I have come to terms with the mistakes I have made in my life and do the best I can to do the right thing as much as I can. I'm not trying to be someone else. Everyone copies styles. That's what fashion and bloggin are all about.