Friday, July 06, 2007

some answers

recently i've received a few different emails because of the changes occuring here on this blog.

so last night, i wrote down some of my thoughts on the matter and decided to share them here.

i feel like i was sleep-blogging before. All of the controversy that has happened over this blog heightened my awareness of what I was doing (compulsive habit-rut thinking)

i look at this as a time of renewal & transformation. there are a lot of changes going on in my life.

i felt like i had to 'shake the disease' of stagnation again. there is a sense now of exploration and playfulness that stimulates creativity. This is interesting how the disruption of the sense of comfort and security is needed to eliminate stagnation and help us remember the impermanent aspect of living.

we resist this but it can be quite rewarding to deal with it on occasion when it isn't a life & death matter (well maybe on some levels)

some people have seen this as me 'giving up' or 'running away', 'dissolving' but i see it as: something needed to change. that is the message i've taken from all of this.

a quote about the purpose of Yoga:

"Restriction is always painful and man will never be satisfied while he is subject to it. ... Yoga proceeds to give the method whereby [the goal] may be realized. This method cannot be practised successfully where there is prejudice or enmity toward others, or where it is employed to run away from life and its responsibilities." -- Yoga, Youth and Reincarnation

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which brings up another issue of who is a friend and who is an enemy?
i've rec'd both sincere and insincere feedback recently from readers of this blog who have emailed me. i have recieved two false emails, one an inquiry regarding my ebay auction which did not show up in my boyfriends 'my messages' on ebay. also i rec'd a Squidoo message which hotmail marked as unsafe even though Squidoo is on my safe list. this message was from "Rocky" who has posted on my blog anonymously before. i don't trust the patronizing nature of his remarks. someone else who i know has been involved in the slandering of my reputation requested to be my friend on buzznet, like i'm supposed to believe that all of a sudden he/she has developed respect for me? well if so, prove it. otherwise, my opinion of you is going to based on your past behavior toward and about me.

"A man must raise himself by his own efforts, and must not allow himself to be dragged down. He alone is his own friend, and he alone is his own enemy." --The Bhagavad-Gita