Tuesday, March 13, 2007

i keep trying

it sucks to feel the way i do now. like nobody likes me. like it is somehow my fault and i don't know why. i have thought that maybe my unconscious is wreaking havoc on my conscious life. because i don't mean any harm and then people think that i am attacking them and they come back at me with both barrels.

so i feel like i have to retreat into myself and figure out how this happened, why, and what to do about it.
because i feel hurt. i feel that it is unjust. i feel perseceuted. judged. misjudged.
i have feelings. i never intended to hurt anyone. and i feel like people are really disregarding me and acting ridiculous.
i don't want to be where i'm not liked, where i am annoying people, where i am not wanted. i don't want to feel that way.